2009 - A Year of Change and Challenge

2009 was year of change and challenge for Dan and I. Our top three major events amongst many other happenings were:

1. Dan changing his job moving from the South LA office to the Rancho Cucamonga office
2. The passing of Dan's dad - Alvin Shackleton
3. Our decision to begin the adoption process

We are looking forward to 2010 with hope and anticipation. The Lord has been faithful in bringing Dan and I through great difficulty. He has given us strength to persevere and we have great faith that He will continue to provide for us no matter what 2010 holds. Happy New Year to you all!


p.s. We made our first contact with our FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) doctor today and will have our first consultation and examination on January 11th. Yea!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Christmas Eve with the Shackletons & Orrs

Today Dan was supposed to work a 12.5 hour shift but his boss is going to let him off early! So tonight this is where we will be:

Playing flute at the church Christmas Eve service. Then. . .


Hanging out with four of my five cute nephews!

Happy Christmas Eve Everyone!

A Day in L.A.!

I am always encouraging my very studious AP students to get out of their normal routine and try something new that they haven't done before. We recently finished studying a post-modern novella by Banana Yoshimoto called Kitchen. In this novella, which was originally written in Japanese, the main character Mikage relates love and family relationships to food. She does not eat food, she SAVORS food. Yesterday my AP Lit. students and I decided to take a trip to L.A. and savor the local flavors. We decided to take the metro rather than drive in our cars so that we could take in more of the culture and see the L.A. natives close up. It was SUCH a fun day!

We started in Norwalk on the metro green line and transferred lines until we arrived at the historic Grand Central Station in downtown L.A. We walked across the street to Olvera street where the oldest house in L.A. is located along with great Mexican shops and treats. Dan and I shared a churro, taquitos, and chile relleno. Yum! Many of the students walked across the street to have lunch at the historic luncheon counter, Philippe's, where they feasted on french dip sandwiches. After Olvera street we took a 15 minute walk to Little Tokyo to endulge in our favorite Japanese treats. We had mochi ice cream, katsudan, and Japanese bakery items. After a quick stop at the Buhddist Temple and the original Los Angeles Times building we headed over to the historic Grand Central Market across the street from the famous Bradbury building. There we sampled Mexican pastries, pupusas from El Salvador, and ceviche. We then headed back to Norwalk on the metro after a full day and VERY full stomachs! Today I enjoyed being a teacher! Much thanks to Dan for coming along to keep me company and be the camera man!

A True Hero

"I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure."



Eric Liddell(Olympic Gold Medalist in Track and Field as portrayed in Chariots of Fire:

You came to see a race today. To see someone win. It happened to be me. But I want you to do more than just watch a race. I want you to take part in it. I want to compare faith to running in a race. It's hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul. You experience elation when the winner breaks the tape - especially if you've got a bet on it. But how long does that last? You go home. Maybe you're dinner's burnt. Maybe you haven't got a job. So who am I to say, "Believe, have faith," in the face of life's realities? I would like to give you something more permanent, but I can only point the way. I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, "Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me." If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race.

Do you long to feel "God's pleasure" in your life? To know that He made you for a purpose and you are living your life in accordance to that purpose?

Learn more about Eric's life here.

P.S. Since most all marathons take place on SundayI always thought someone should start a marathon (or even a 5k) on a Saturday in honor of Eric Liddell.

Another BIG Bend in the Road

This week brought another change in our adoption journey. In our quest to find a lawyer who knows embryo donation/adoption we discovered that this is a very specialized field. We finally were referred to a woman whom a lawyer said could help us. She is a lawyer who helped lay the legal groundwork for the Snowflakes program with Nightlight Christian Adoptions. The Snowflakes program had been our first choice for our embryo adoption but their costs were much higher than the NEDC and Miracles Waiting.

To make a loooong story short after several phone conversations we were advised to be very careful about pursuing a match through Miracles Waiting (although I know a few couples that have been very happily matched!)and we have learned that our legal expenses would be fairly significant with the MW option. We also learned that Snowflakes (whose office is a mere 20 min. drive from our house) has a matching option that we were not privy to before that lowers the cost of our embryo adoption through them by $3600 and we would be first on the list to be matched. They have approx. 70 donors waiting at this time.

On some level I feel ridiculous that we have changed our mind so many times in the last two weeks but I am excited that Dan and I have decided to go with Snowflakes. We have realized through our experiences with NEDC, MW, and Embryos Alive that they are the best match for us in our adoption journey. Since this is our first adoption I am glad we will have the help of an agency in communicating with the genetic family, coordinating the transfer of the embryos from the donor clinic to our clinic, and the expertise of their experienced legal staff. I like that we won't have to travel to TN- although I would LOVE to visit Nashville someday!

This week Dan and I worked on filling out our Snowflakes application, recipient agreement, and fertility clinic paperwork. Today I dropped off tons of paperwork that Snowflakes needed to open our file. We will be making a formal adoption profile that will be shown to potential donor couples to help them decided if they would like to give us their embryos. It is a much more extensive profile than the NEDC required, more like a domestic adoption family profile. At the Snowflakes office the program coordinator said that our application would be processed next week and that as soon as they get our profile (which I plan on having done before Christmas) we will start the matching process. She feels that since their donor pool is so large right now and they don't have a long recipient line we will be matched fairly quick. Once we are matched it will take a month or two to get all the paperwork in order and the embryos shipped to our clinic in L.A. Our transfer will very likely happen in early Spring!

I totally get why they call adoption a "journey"!

Thank you for praying for us. I sense God's hand in all of this turmoil. I know our story will be an amazing one and I can't wait to see how His will unfolds in our lives. . . through joy and sorrow, pain and pleasure. . . I know He is there.

BAAAAAD DOG!

A year ago my dog loving neighbors and friends found a homeless dog. We all tried to find the owner. She was so sweet and friendly. Dan wanted this dog and the friends wanted us to have this dog. I know from experience how much exercise and work a dog can be. I said no. Dan said please. I caved and we have a dog.

I like the dog. It likes me. We go on runs together. . . it sleeps on its own bed in our room. . and sometimes it sleeps IN OUR bed becuase Dan loves his dog and I'm a softy. . . I buy it bones and toys and treats and soft pillowy dog beds. . . I feed it quality lamb and rice dry food at 5:30am every morning before work. . . I pet it and talk to it in a soft loving voice. . .and we teach it discipline: to walk without pulling, sit when told, don't lick, don't bark, don't steal my socks, etc.

I have learned to live with the dog.
She is mostly a good dog.
But then I woke up this morning to this:







BAD DOG!!!

(Great emotional restraint was practiced in the writing of this blog post.)

New Phase in our Adoption Journey

After a week of deep discussion, prayer,and research Dan and I have decided to actively begin searching for embryos to adopt. We are still "in line" with the NEDC but have decided to also place a recipient profile with Miracles Waiting and keep watch on the available embryos on Embryos Alive.

With Embryos Alive we would do the transfer in CA and the cost is close to the NEDC (given that we would have to pay nearly $1,000 for traveling expenses each time we fly to TN) but we will have a much smaller pool of donor families to choose from.

With Miracles Waiting we would have to do more administrative work: find a lawyer to draw up the transfer contracts, coordinate with our fertility clinic and the donor's fertility clinic, and comminicate more openly with the donor family without the help of an agency.

If we find a good match through Miracles Waiting or Embryos Alive before the NEDC schedules our mock transfer appointment then we will go with them instead. It is nice to have options and exciting to think that there is a possibility that our transfer will take place in early spring rather than late summer. So thankful for the support of our families and friends and the advice of our fellow embryo adoption friends. We shall see where we go from here!
++++++++++UPDATE 12/7/09+++++++++++++
We found a great lawyer with experience in embryo adoption but he won't help us because he only does contracts through Snowflakes. Boo! So we are still looking. We did find a local fertility clinic that has come highly recommended by our EA friends! Yea!

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!"

One tradition that Dan and I have is that we purchase an ornament every time we go on a trip together. The tradition began in Maui on our honeymoon in 2003 with these fun ornaments!


I love the hang ten board shorts on the starfish santa. You will have to come visit our tree to see some of our other ornament treasures!

I bought this fun Christmas paisley table cloth the other day. I love that it is Christmasy without being cheesy.

My favorite new Christmas item is something that I have been wanting for awhile: it is an advent calendar. The one above is an advent Christmas village that I got at Costco for $10!!! I can't wait to hide Christmas bible verses and treats for our kids when we have some and they are old enough.

The outside of the house is still a work in progress. Dan and Sam are putting up lighted garland on our wrap-around porch while listening to football through the piano room windows.

I always love a cozy fireplace and the addition of our simple Christmas stockings makes ours extra cozy. Dan and I have another tradition: we usually don't give each other expensive presents we set a limit ($20 or so) and our challenge is to fill each other's stocking with fun items and treats.


My top four favorite Christmas albums this year are Christmas Together with Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, Charlie Brown Christmas, Diana Krall Christmas, and my newest album So Much Joy by the musicians of Grace EV Free La Mirada. What are your favorites? (There are soooo many great albums out there and only a month to listen!!!)

I hope this post finds you all taking time to not only enjoy the fun traditions of the Christmas season but also time to think about the amazing gift of grace and mercy in the birth of Jesus Christ who laid down his life for all people in all times.

Come thou long-expected Jesus,
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a Child and yet a King.
Born to reign in us for ever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all-sufficient merit
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.
- Charles Wesley

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend! Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

- Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure in 1847

REVISED. . .slow progress. . .

I got an email from Bethany's Knoxville office on Monday. Apparently, I have been waiting these last 20 days for a process that I didn't know needed to take place. The California Bethany office had to contact the Knoxville office, send them our home study, and then Knoxville had to approve it and notify the NEDC. She instructed me to call the NEDC today to schedule our first visit to Tennessee! So hopefully in the next few days we will have our mock transfer scheduled. This visit is also so that I can meet our doctor, be medically approved for the procedure, and learn about the procedure and all the fun medicines and shots that come with it! I am so thankful to get permission to move to the next step in our adoption!

-----Later in the day--------

Okay. . . I called the NEDC today and the good news is that our file is as complete as a file can be. The not so good news is that we are now on a waiting list. They are booked through March and there are 24 people ahead of us waiting to get an appointment as soon as more open up. The NEDC said that the wait is now 10-12 months at the fastest from application to transfer. This would put our transfer sometime this summer, likely August. Most likely we wouldn't even make our first trip out to TN until very late spring or early summer. I have two thoughts about this:

1. How awesome is it that there is a waiting list to adopt!!!??? I am glad that so many people are taking steps to adopt these embryos.

2. We don't want to wait this long. I am second guessing our decision to go with the NEDC. Maybe flying all the way to Tenessee (twice) to do this is not the best idea. I feel frustrated and I am considering looking into other options. Or maybe we should just press on and wait our turn. . .

We are bummed.

Waiting . . .

I have been anxious lately about our adoption. I haven't heard from the NEDC and according to their initial letter our mock transfer is supposed to be scheduled once we start our homestudy. Our homestudy has been finished and submitted for over 10 days now. When I emailed about a few issues (fertility doc in CA, when we would visit TN, and confirmation of our completed file) they emailed back with only vague responses to my questions. Not helpful and totally FRUSTRATING!

I would say in general that I have been pretty patient on our journey to become parents. We have been trying to conceive for five and half years now. If I have learned one thing about myself it is that my desire and emotions surrounding motherhood can fluctuate greatly. Our big house in our family-friendly neighborhood and our Chevy Tahoe "family car" we bought four years ago that I drive around alone in feel empty; I know my identity is founded in the Lord and not in my becoming a mom but I wonder what it would be like. I think about the thousands of little embryo babies stuck in their frozen straws and all the childless couples like us waiting to find each other.

There are times in my life when in God's grace I have found patience and peace. At other times (like now) I tire of the wait, of the not knowing if things will work out or if there is more pain and character refining in our future.

The hardest part of our fertility journey has been the lack of control over our future. I suppose I thought that now that Dan and I finally agreed to pursue embyro adoption we would be back in the "driver's seat" so to speak. We would have a definite timeline and I would be pregnant within the year, maybe even faster! I think I am realizing now that I have just reverted back to my need to control the details of life rather than trust our future to the Lord.

I know the promises of God: that he loves us, that he wants good for our lives, that he won't give us burdens that are too difficult for us to bear, that he will take care of our needs and knows our needs better than we do . . . But I also know that he cares more about the state of our souls than he does our daily happiness and if this is what needs to happen to bring Dan and I (and others) closer to Him then I accept this period of waiting and not knowing.

Romans 5:1-11

1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! 10 For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

Adoption Home Study is Officially Complete!

The other day we received a package from Bethany and inside was our completed home study! Today I mailed it off to the NEDC. We are excited to hear back from the NEDC about the date of our first visit to Tenessee!

A couple in North Carolina who is at the same stage in their embryo adoption with the NEDC introduced me to this adoption story of a couple in Colorado who has two biological children and two adopted children. The video tells the story of how they came to adopt their first child from Korea. Their story encouraged me to remember that we are to trust our God who is mighty, has unlimited resources, and knows what is best for us even more than we do.

Ludy Adoption Video from Lifesong on Vimeo.

A Celebratory Treat!

Today I celebrated reaching my 50 pound weightloss mark by getting a haircut that I have wanted for a long time. I had been putting off trying out this style because I didn't think I could pull it off. Now that my face is thinner, I went for it. What do you think?

A little getaway to India, El Salvador, Vietnam, and Taiwan

Over the last week Dan and I have been busier than usual and so we have eaten out a little more often. One of the greatest benefits of living in such a culturally diverse part of the world is the easy access to an unlimited number of cuisines. So Dan and I went on a mental and gustatory vacation around the globe. We started with an old favorite. . .

Saag Paneer and Garlic Naan - India (Little India Grill in Artesia)
Saag is spinach and paneer is cheese. We also got an amazing (and spicy hot) eggplant dish which we also love and a goat curry. Their garlic naan (Indian flat bread) is the perfect compliment to sooth your mouth after this spicy meal. The first time I had saag was when our friend Raj's mom from India was visiting and he invited us over to have a traditional Indian meal. Needless to say it was quite amazing! Our most favorite Indian food place was in Long Beach but one day we went to have dinner there and they were closed down- there was a "C" health rating in the window. Hmmmmmm. . .


. . . next we went to an El Salvadorian pupusaria which was a completely new experience for us both.

Papusas - El Salvador (Nancy's Pupusaria in Buena Park)
I had heard of pupusas (stuffed flat bread) on the Food Network and was excited to try a new cuisine. I ordered the cheese and loroco which is an edible flower and herb which I think tastes like artichoke. Dan ordered spinach and cheese pupusa and a pork pupusa. They were so good but I want to try the pupusas at Grand Central Market in L.A. sometime to compare.


. . . then we were off to "Vietnam" for some Pho (noodles with vegetables and various meats).

Pho - Vietnam (California Noodle and Grill in Chino)
Dan's niece, Koren, was the first to introduce us to Pho up in Seattle. Ever since Dan and I have enjoyed pho (pronounced "fuh")at various locations throughout Southern California. Dan always gets the meat variety bowl with everything in it from intestine to fillet. Last time I ordered the chicken bowl which was great! I enjoy mine with lots of fresh basil, lemon, bean sprouts, and fish sauce.


. . . then we hit our favorite tea house a few times for a sweet treat - Milk Tea Boba!

Boba Milk Tea - Taiwan (Zensation in Chino Hills)
I remember clearly the first time I tried boba. My band students at Wilson were addicted to it and would occasionally bring the band directors one for a treat. It is such a fun experience to suck the little tapioca balls up through the extra wide straw along with the milk tea. The hardest part is giving up my favorite flavor (regular milk tea) to try some of the other interesting flavors on the menu (lavender, mango, honeydew, Thai, almond, etc.) One day I know I will get brave enough to try lavender. When I tried mango it was so mangoish that I felt like I was drinking my favorite body lotion (Bath and Body Works mango mandarin)- not so good.


I love our little mental vacations! It is so nice to pack a little adventure into a stress filled week. I am so lucky I married an adventurous eater! Here is to many more culinary excursions! (Any recommendations?)

P.S. Don't worry. . . I am still down 46 pounds since June and I am starting a new morning running routine on Sunday with daylight savings to get ready for the 10K Turkey Trot in Dana Point on Thanksgiving morning. I have at last learned the good habit of eating things in small portions. = )

Homestudy Unofficially Finished!

Today we had our home visit with our social worker which was our last item left in our homestudy. She said that she would have our homestudy officially finished sometime next week! While I don't know the exact timeline of our next steps, most likely we will be moving into the matching process soon followed by our mock transfer sometime in Feb/March and finally our real transfer in April/May. (Thanks for the info. Jenn!) I am excited about this timeline as it gives me time to lose more weight, Dan and I time to save up some more money for all our medical bills, NEDC fees, and travel expenses, and it also makes it easier for me to take time off work. We are praying for God's perfect timing and provision. We also pray for a good match with our embryo donor family. Won't you join us in prayer for our future little one(s)?

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

Light

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom (or what) shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom (or what) shall I be afraid? ~Psalm 27:1

Interview Recap

Our first interview went great! Our social worker was easy to talk to and she seems excited to help us finish our home study as quickly as possible. Our next interview is on Tuesday the 13th and our final interview at our house will be on Monday the 19th. Our social worker said that she would take about ten days to finish our homestudy after that which means our home study will be finished by the end of this month!

First Interview on Thursday!

Today I spoke with our social worker from Bethany and our first home study interview is on Thursday(Oct. 8th)! We will have two more interviews after that (not yet scheduled) one in which Dan and I are interviewed separately and the other which will take place in our home. We need to work on getting our home ready for our home visit which means purchasing electrical plug covers, gates for our stairways, an infant car seat, a fire extinguisher, locks for various cabinets, and a few other odds and ends. Things seem to be moving quickly and we are thankful for that!

Homestudy Paperwork Almost Done!

Well yesterday we dropped off the last big chunk of paperwork. We just need Dan's employment verification and first aid certification paperwork. We have already paid for our homestudy and Bethany says that our social worker is ready to go! She is going to call us on Monday or Tuesday to schedule our interviews. Yea! We also have all of our paperwork finished with the NEDC and are just waiting to hear from them about our next steps. The picture above is one of the three pictures we submitted as part of our adoption profile. Today Dan and I are getting the rest of the Bethany paperwork in so now it is just a matter of being patient and waiting. . .we are getting pretty good at that! Thanks for praying for us everyone!

September Adoption Update

Well September has been an extremely busy month for us. It seems with Dan's dad's passing we have had far less time than we had origially planned to work on our homestudy paperwork. But. . .we are almost done!!! Dan and I just have to finish our 54 essay questions each, get our very busy bosses to fill out our employment verification paperwork, and pay the rest of our homestudy fee. We also have a few little things to do for the NEDC (digital copies of three photos and our dear donor letter). We are so excited for the next steps and can't wait to officially be out of the paper chase phase of our adoption. Those next steps will be to do our homestudy interviews and house visit with Bethany and then wait to hear from the NEDC to schedule our initial visit to Knoxville, TN to meet our doctor. I have heard from others who are completing their transfer with the NEDC that the wait is a bit longer than we anticipated. I am trying not to be discouraged but just take everything one step at a time. We have waited this long a few more months won't matter that much in the long run.

In the meantime I have begun to read a GREAT book called Adopted for Life by Russell Moore. In this book Moore asserts that, "The gospel of Jesus Christ—the good news that through Jesus we have been adopted as sons and daughters into God’s family—means that Christians ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans in North America and around the world." Moore writes from his own experience of adopting his two boys from Russia. I have only just begun reading this text but I have found it an excellent mix of adoption philosophy/theology and personal anecdote. (Thanks for the recommendation Betsy!)

Lastly, in anticipation of our future embryo transfer I have been working hard to improve my health and I am excited to report that I have lost 40 pounds since June! Thanks to all my motivators out there who help me stay focused. I have many more pounds to go!


Well that is all for now! Hopefully my next entry in our blog will be to tell you all that we have completed all of our adoption homestudy paperwork!

God is good all the time. . .

The Shackleton Family Tree

At Alvin's funeral on Saturday I learned so much about the Shackleton family which led me to an internet search. Here is what I found out:


Dan's Great Great Great Grandpa was John Shackleton who was from Leeds, England.

Dan's Great Great Grandpa and Grandma were Stephen Shackleton and Susan Waymire. (Stephen is the one who brought the Shackletons to the USA in 1854 when he arrived in New York.)

Dan's Great Grandpa and Grandma were John William Shackleton and Jane Elizabeth Wise;

Dan's Grandpa and Grandma were Stephen Frederick Shackleton and Lena Chessie(Dykstra) Shackleton.

Dan's Dad is Alvin Shackleton.


This is the family tree I found on the internet that corresponds with the information presented at the funeral:

Stephen Shackleton was the son of John Shackleton of Leeds, England. John was a wealthy lawyer. Stephen b. 13 October 1835 in Leeds, England. He studied law under his father and was admitted to the bar at the age of nineteen. Stephen left the same year, 1854, for New York. He married Susan Waymire (she was of German descent) on 24 October 1857 at Fort Madison, Iowa; b. 18 March 1840 at Independence Hill, Indiana; d. 31 August 1897; Stephen d. 2 July 1912; both are buried at Mautrase or Mankato, Kansas

Children of Stephen Shackleton and Susan Waymire:

i. John William, b. 10 September 1858, d. 1 September 1887, buried at Hill City, Kansas; m. Jane Elizabeth Wise on 16 February 1878; b. 23 February 1861, d. 6 November 1892, buried at Deepwater, Missouri; 4 children

Children of John William Shackleton and Jane Elizabeth Wise:
1. Stephen Frederick, b. 2 February 1880 in Tarkio, Atchison County, Missouri; d. 31 May 1933 in Rice Lake, Wisconsin and is buried there; m. Lena Chessie Dykstra (daughter of Peter G. Dykstra and Gertrude Iedema) on 21 December 1911 in Nashau, Montana; b. 12 December 1891 in LaMars, Iowa, d. 3 July 1955 in Cornell, Wisconsin; buried at Rice Lake, Wisconsin; 4 children; (a) Loren Frederick, b. 5 October 1912 in Nashua, Montana, d. 6 April 1998; (b) Benjamin Lee, b. 1 June 1914 in Nashau, Montana, d. 18 February 2002 in Grand Rapids, Kent County, Michigan; m. Margaret Elinor Burnett (see obituary page) (daughter of Matt Kochevar and Margaret Simonick; she was adopted and raised by Volney Irwin Burnett and Ella Huddleson) on 27 February 1938 in Cornell, Wisconsin; b. 4 January 1915 in Buhl, St. Louis County, Minnesota, d. 16 December 2001 in Michigan; 3 children; Ruth Ann, m. Ronald Martin Denniston (son of Rev. Otis and Evalene Denniston) they have 2 daughters, Cynthia Lou and Linda Jo; Janet Lee, m. Virgil LaMar Leatherman (son of Joseph and Marjorie Leatherman) they have 3 children, Scott Allen, Lori Lee, and Julie Lynn; Dr. Benjamin Alan, m. Jane Colette Hendrickson, they have 1 daughter, Kelly Jo; (c) Alvin William; (d) Frederick Gerald
2. Lee Edward, b. 14 May 1881 in Tarkio, Atchison County, Missouri, d. 25 April 1951, m. Dora Elva Haworth (daughter of Perry and Vena Haworth) in February 1901; b. 28 June 1885, d. 3 May 1947; 8 children, (a) Morris William, b. 15 April 1901, d. June 1978, m. Gladys Maude Lane on 10 December 1921 in Barron, Wisconsin; b. 19 July 1904, d. February 1995; 2 children, (i) Milford Lee, b. 24 August 1922 in Hillsdale, Wisconsin, d. 15 November 1999, m. Pearl Agnew on 10 December 1946 in Ladysmith, Wisconsin; they had 2 daughters, Linda Sue, m. Robert Mayer, 2 children, Malisa Marie and Timothy Robert; and Joyce; (ii) Betty Jane; (b) Milo Perry, b. 4 June 1903, m. Genevieve Charity Bliven (daughter of William Robert Bliven and Amanda Viola Flowers); 10 children, (i) Robert Lee, m. Clarice; (ii) Elva Viola, m. Earl Cook; (iii) Sarah Jane; (iv) Dora May, m. Bud Carrell; (v) Raymond Edward, m. Millie; (vi) Don Andrew; (vii) Richard "Dick" Earl, m. Lois; (viii) Paul Stanley, m. Marty; (ix) David Perry, (see obituary page) b. 30 March 1948 in Ladysmith, Wisconsin, d. 18 February 2000, buried Forest Hill Cemetery, Stanton, Dunn County, Wisconsin, m. Karen Rundle; 3 children, David, m. Teresa, Sam and Shayne; (x) Daniel Allan, m. Wendy; (c) Florence Mable; (d) Elmer Edward, b. 14 October 1909, d. 1924, buried Prarie Farm, Wisconsin; (e) Vernon Lee, b. 17 October 1915, d. 8 May 2001; (f) Alfred Leroy, b. 17 October 1918, d. April 1982; (g) Faith Elaine; (h) Stephen Paul, b. 21 February 1929, d. August 1986
3. William "Clyde", b. 27 April 1884 in Tarkio, Atchison County, Missouri, d. 4 September 1950, buried in Cornell, Wisconsin, m. Catherine Traxler (daughter of Jacob and Ruth Traxler) on 16 August 1905 in Beaver City, Nebraska; b. 5 March 1885 in Mt. Pleasant, Iowa, d. 7 February 1949, buried in Cornell, Wisconsin; 7 children, (a) Howard Albert, b. 18 May 1906 in Furnas County, Nebraska, d. August 1981; (b) Laura Pearl; (c) Floyd Stephen, b. 8 August 1909 in Furnas County, Nebraska, d. 18 December 1991, m. Susan Bozonie (daughter of John and Susan Bozonie) 3 children, (i) Michael Allen, m. Ruth Ann Miller (daughter of Melvin and Martha Miller) 2 children, Debra Sue and Michael Paul; (ii) Dennis Floyd, m. Jeanne Marie Albertson (daughter of Lawerance and Dora Albertson) 2 sons, Mark Dennis and Stephen Edward; (iii) Mary Susan, m. Keith Lowell Eliason (son of Keith Lamar and Ethel Annette Eliason) 3 sons, Kurt Lowell, David John, and Brian Keith; (d) (Reverand) Cecil Ward, b. 27 July 1911 in Montrace, Jewell County, Kansas, d. 13 April 1983, m. Jeanette Monica Gangstad (see obituary page) b. 29 September 1914 in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, d. 31 August 2000, buried at Prairie View Cemetery (family plot) in Hallie, Wisconsin; 7 children, (i) Della, m. Dale Fisk, 2 children, Sylvia (d. before January 2000), m. Alan Jones; Carol, (see obituary page) b. 10 April 1960 in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, d. 18 January 2000 in Green Grove, Clark County, Wisconsin, m. Terry Wood (divorced); 4 children, Phillip, Isaac, Elijah, and Sienna; (ii) Laura, m. Jesse Ruby; one son, Joseph Edwin; (iii) Evelyn; (iv) Pearl, m. Phillip Veile; one daughter, Susan Marie; (v) Sarah, m. LaVerne Larson; (vi) Jeanette; (vii) Warren Cecil, d. before September 2000; (e) Mabel Ruth; (f) Gale Clarence, b. 17 July 1922 in Furnas County, Nebraska, d. 28 May 1989; (g) Dale Clyde, b. 17 July 1922 in Furnas County, Nebraska, d. 31 October 1992
4. Pearl, b. 3 April 1886 in Hill City, Graham County, Kansas

ii. Charles Henry, b. 14 February 1861, d. 1864
iii. Mary Jane, b. 6 February 1863, d. 1864
iv. Elizabeth Aletha, b. 30 May 1866, d. 12 March 1876
v. George Edward "Ed" b. 27 July 1868, m. Liddia Harrison; 2 daughters, Icie, m. Omar Duncan; and Hallie, d. 15 August 1912
vi. Harriet "Nellie" Ellen, b. 11 October 1870, m. G.A. Leckenby on 1 February 1887; 1 son, Stephen Lee (could be Leroy), b. 3 December 1888, d. 1 February 1944
vii. Stephen "Dick" Matthew, b. 9 November 1872, m. Nellie Haworth in February 1898; 7 children, Lewis Vernon, Elsa, Elva, Eugene, Clifford, Charles and Ruby
viii. Solomon Alfred, b. 18 December 1875, d. 18 March 1876
ix. James Franklin "Frank", b. 7 February 1877, m. Gertrude Thorp on 25 December 1900; 8 children, John, Merle, Harold, Frank, Margaret, Mildred, Owen, and Rusell
x. Maud May, b. 15 September 1880, d. in Jewell, Kansas, m. John Franklin Wyatt on 30 May 1902; he died in Jewell, Kansas; 2 children, Margaret Fay and Russell
xi. Susan Maggie, b. 30 June 1883, m. (1) S. Ernest Cope on 11 August 1904; 1 son Laverne, b. 20 February 1905; m. (2) Mr. MacNamara

HOW AWESOME IS THIS???!!!!

Fall is around the corner!

In an effort to cheer myself up at the start of the school year I try to get excited about the coziness of decorating for fall. I love the pumpkins, leaves, and the spicy color pallate. I change all the air fresheners to cinnamon and spice flavors and change out the wreath on the front door. I put out the sweet cinnamon pumpkin hand wash and fall themed hand towels in the guest bath and change the beachy themed candle display on the dinning room hutch to a harvest themed display. I baked pumpkin bread for the first time since Christmas last week. I wear bronze colored eye shadow and paint my nails with my fallish bronze/reddish nail polish. I suppose this is my version of what Maria on the Sound of Music would suggest: to focus on the things you like so that the negative parts of life don't seem so bad. Happy fall everyone!

Anatomy of a Doggie Nap

A few weeks ago I snapped these pics of Jersey while she took a 20 minute doggie nap. She is so funny!

Self Study Questions

As part of our adoption homestudy we each must answer in complete sentences all of the questions listed below. That is 54 short answer / essay responses! Wow. . . I am taking the advice of my cousin who has been down this road- fill it out a few questions a day. I should be done by October! (As I fill out my questions I will bold them.)

Personality
1. Describe your personality; include what you view as your strengths and weaknesses.
2. Briefly explain the events and experiences in your life that you feel have shaped your personality.
3. What are your hobbies and interests? How do you spend your leisure time?
4. Describe a personal achievement that you are proud of.
5. List some personal goals for yourself and your family.
6. Have you struggled with any addictions, including drugs, alcohold, food or pronography? If so, when and how have you overcomeit?
7. What was the biggest disappointment or loss you have exeprienced in your life and how did you cope with it?
8. Have you ever received psychological counseling? If so, when, for how long and why?

Childhood and Family of Origin
1. Describe the family you grew up in.
a. Who was in the family, what were their relationships to each other?
b. What was your relationship with your parents like?
c. What were your feelings about other family members?
d. What were the positive and negative qualities of your family?
2. Describe the values, traditions, and expectations you feel your parents attempted to instill in you.
3. Describe your parent’s relationship to each other while you were growing up and currently.
4. What do you admire about your parent’s relationship and what might or have you done differently?
5. What kind of child were you? How did you spend your time? Who were your friends? What are your most pleasant childhood memories and unhappy memories?
6. What methods did your parents use to discipline you and your siblings?
7. Describe your family’s communication. How did they settle differences?
8. Do you have any history of physical, sexual, emotional abuse or neglect? If so, when and how have you moved past it?

Marriage
1. How did you meet your spouse? What attracted you to him/her?
2. How are you both alike? How do you differ?
3. What strengths do you bring to the marriage? What strengths does your partner bring to the marriage?
4. How has your relationship evolved over the years? What do you admire about him/her now?
5. What are his/her strong and weak points?
6. What areas would you like to grow in as a spouse? What are areas you would like to see your spouse grow in?
7. What are the common interests and activities you do as a family?
8. Describe what you feel keeps the relationship continuing.
9. If possible, what would you change about the relationship to your spouse?
10. Communication in a marriage means. . .? How does your spouse encourage communication? How does your spouse stifle it?
11. What are your main areas of disagreement?
12. How do you settle differences of opinion or disagreements with each other? Describe a problem in your marriage which has been overcome – how did you work it out?
13. How have you divided family responsibilities such as wage earning, household jobs, and childcare?
14. What are your priorities when you spend money? Do you have guidelines that you use when making purchases? Do you and your spouse agree on this?
15. What are your relationships with each other’s families?
a. Do they live within visiting distance?
b. When do you get together?
c. What is your relationship like with your father-in-law? Mother-in-law?
d. What are the similarities and differences between the two families of origin, and how have these families impacted your marriage?
16. Describe ways you have learned to balance personal freedom with responsiblies to your spouse and family.
17. What role does your physical relationship play in your marriage?
18. Have there been any incidence of infidelity in your dating, engaged or married relationship? If som please discuss how it impacted your relationship.
19. Please describe the circumstances of any previous marriage(s)/divorce(s).
a. List problem areas in the previous relationship and how you came to dissolve the marriage.
b. What did you learn from this experience? How do you feel this experience has affected your current marriage?
c. Were there any children as a result of this previous marriage? If so, what is your relationship to them now?
20. Do you have any children from any other previous relationships?

Children
1. If you have children already, please describe them (age, personality, interests, etc.).
2. How do you anticipate a child (or another child) will impact your life socially, maritally, vocationally, and personally? How will you adjust for and/oraddress these challenges?
3. What strength and experiences do you have as a person that you feel will help you parent?
4. What will your methods of discipline be with children? How would you set limits? How would you arrive at this? What do you feel are the important characteristics of good discipline?
5. What qualities, values, and character would you like to develop in your children and how would you go about promoting these? (Happy, well-adjusted children need. . . )
6. Will you arrange a leave from work? If not, what are your child care arrangements?
7. How will your parenting resemble/differ from that of your parents?
8. Who will you look to as a source of support and information to assist you in your parenting (ie: friend, parent support group, sibling, etc.)?

Adoption
1. When did you first start thinking about adoption and why?
2. Do you and your spouse feel the same about adopting? Who initiated the action?
3. How does your extended family and friends feel about your adopting?
4. What are your expectations for the adoption process?
5. What concerns do you have regarding the adoption process?
6. How would you feel abou an adoptive child’s desire to gain information about his/her birthparent(s)?
7. Do you have any concerns about bonding to the child or the child bonding to you?
8. What do you plan to communicate to your child about your reason for wanting to adopt him or her? How would you help you child understand adoption?
9. Please explain your view of a birthparent and why and/or how birthparents release a child for adoption.
10. If you have children, how are you presenting the adoption to them? What are their feelings regarding the adoption?

Is there any other significant information or events that has not been shared in the previous questions that you feel would be pertinent for us to know?