ALVIN WILLIAM SHACKLETON

Dan's Dad went home to be with the Lord at age 91 on Saturday night. We rejoice that he is no longer suffering in his broken earthly body but is now free in the loving comfort and care of Jesus Christ our King. He was an amazing man and a most loving father. He was soft spoken, extremely funny and witty, completely devoted to living his life in service of others, and had more perseverance than anyone I've known. We will miss him so much but take comfort in knowing that our separation is not eternal.

Alvin's memorial service will be: September 5th in Garden Grove, CA (exact time and place TBA)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATHRYN AND JAKE!!!

WE LOVE YOU!


KATHRYN - AUGUST 16


JAKE AUGUST 17

A New Chapter Begins. . . and Hope is Renewed!

DAN AND ELIZABETH ARE ADOPTING!!!


Five and a half years ago we decided it was time to expand our family by adding kids. Little did we know the adversity we would face in trying to make this wish a reality. A few years ago, after unsuccessful fertility treatments and one miraculous pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, we began contemplating adoption options. It was difficult to come to grips with our infertility and difficult to face the many decisions that must be made when you decide to pursue adoption; but we have grown closer as a couple because of our trials and we are SO excited about the opportunity to become parents through embryonic donation/adoption!





Many of you may not be familiar with embryonic donation/adoption. A simplified explanation is that we will adopt another couple's leftover embryos from when they did IVF, have them transferred to me, and then I will carry and give birth to the embryo(s). Legally, embryo adoption is not adoption, it is a transfer of private property (embryos) from one family to another. The "adoption" becomes final before the embryos are transferred to us.

We decided to pursue embryonic donation/adoption for several reasons: the timeline from application to embryo transfer is typically 6-9 months which is a very short time frame in the adoption world, we would get to experience pregnancy and birth, we would have more control over the health of our baby's pregnancy, the cost is relatively low as far as adoptions are concerned (ours will be around $12,000), the "adoption" is finalized early in the process so there is no risk of the genetic family taking the embryos or babies back, and lastly this method of adoption is in line with our firm belief that life begins at conception and that embryos are people who deserve a chance at life.



There are many means by which a couple can "adopt" embryos. It was difficult for us to weigh our options but after much research and consideration we have opted to go with the National Embryo Donation Center in Knoxville, TN and have our home study completed with Bethany Christian Services which is based in La Mirada, CA. While legally it is not necessary for us to complete a home study to adopt embryos many genetic donor families feel more comfortable donating their embryos to a family that has had background checks done, etc. Also, if our embryo adoption journey does not result in a child we can more easily transfer to a traditional domestic or international adoption with Bethany Christian Services.

On July 29, 2009 we submitted our preliminary application to the NEDC and officially began our adoption journey. Over the past two weeks we have been filling out more applications, tracking down important documents, writing our "Dear Donor Family" letter, working out a financial plan, and corresponding with our two agencies. Currently we have been given the green light by both the NEDC and Bethany to begin our home study which means tons more paperwork! We will be keeping an adoption timeline on our blog so that you can track our progress, celebrate our successes, and pray for us in our setbacks. In an effort to stay organized I have begun to file everything in our adoption paperwork binder. I am determined to get as much of our home study finished before school begins on September 10th as possible. In addition to working on our home study we will be flying back to Tennessee to meet with our NEDC fertility doctor who will do our transfer. (Yes you heard right- we will be doing the transfer in Tennessee and that is a whole different story!) We have to finish our home study before this visit takes place so it won't happen for several months.

We want to thank our family and friends who have walked with us through our struggle with infertility. We are so incredibly blessed to have a great support system of people who pray for us, love on us, and talk with us. Please continue to pray for us and our future children! Who knows but almighty God the twists and turns this journey will bring.

Our Love Affair With Jazz

We LOVE jazz.

We love that every time a jazz piece is performed it is different. There is excitement in listening to live jazz because you never know how the solos will turn out and what unexpected jazzy gem the bassist or drummer will lay out before you.

And of all the great jazz artists Diana Krall is our most favorite.

As a special birthday gift Dan bought us tickets to see Diana Krall perform live at the Starlight Theatre at Pala (near Temecula). She was as good if not better than I expected and her faithful counterparts were amazing as well. She performed with:
Robert Hurst, String Bass
Jeff Hamilton, Drums
Anthony Wilson, Guitar

This is what she played:
Love Being Here Tonight
Let's Fall in Love
Very Nice
I'll String Along With You
Come Dance with Me
Where or When
(pirate song- Don't know title and not released on records)
You've Got a Friend/Sunny Side of the Street Medley
I was Doing Alright
Quiet Nights
Heaven (AWESOME!!! This was my favorite and she doesn't have it released on a recording!)
Route 66
The Look of Love

If you have never given Diana a listen then you might try our favorite album Live in Paris for which she won a Grammy. When December rolls around you will definitely want to get her Christmas album which is awesome (trust me).



Some of our other Most Favorite Jazz Artists
Dave Brubeck
Miles Davis
Frank Sinatra
Charlie Parker
Michael Buble
Billie Holliday
Nat King Cole
Vince Guaraldi
Harry Connick Jr.
Dave Matthews
Rosemary Clooney
Count Basie

If you don't want to miss out on seeing Diana Krall perform live, then catch her at the Hollywood Bowl performing with the LA Phil on August 21 and 22!

FYI: Did you know one of the best Jazz clubs in Southern California is in Fullerton??!! Steamers Jazz Cafe is a great and inexpensive way to experience some of the best jazz musicians in the world. Diana Krall even stopped by unannounced one night there when her dummer's jazz trio was performing and she decided to jam with them. Dan and I had an awesome date night there one time sipping hot drinks and listening to the Pete Jolly Trio. If you are in the area you should check it out!

Adventures with Bebub!

This weekend I was thrilled to become an Auntie again! Since little Jackson Yale Orr arrived three weeks early nobody was expecting him this weekend. All other family members were out of the state and Dan was working 12 hour shifts, sooooo big brother Caleb and I got some serious bonding time in while proud parents Ben and Lindsay went to the hospital to have Jackson. It was SUCH a fun weekend for both Bebub and I that I thought I would post some highlights from our adventures:

1. When I made some quick lane changes on the freeway to get onto the 5 freeway Caleb says, "Auntie Elizabeth are you trying to win the race?". And then every time we would drive through a construction zone he would yell out in a panicked voice, "Watch out! Don't crash into those cones!". Caleb is quite the backseat driver sometimes.

2. It is fun to hear other people's influence on Caleb's life through the things he says. On a few occasions (as we drove down the freeway and went for a walk) Caleb exclaimed, "Look at all those BEAUTIFUL flowers!!! Aren't those flowers beautiful Auntie Elizabeth?" That was totally my Dad's influence. When Caleb shared his new knowledge on the difference between boys and girls and how they go pee Caleb says, "Boys shake and girls wipe, but sometimes boys wipe too when they go poo". That was Ben's influence. SOOOOO funny!

3. Caleb has great one-liners. When visiting the hospital to see Lindsay, Ben, and Jackson the nurse and Caleb had a little conversation that went like this:
Nurse: "What is your name?"
Caleb: "Caleb Matthew Orr"
Nurse: "That is quite a name! Who named you?"
Caleb: "Jesus"
Nurse: "Ha Ha . . . that's a good answer!"

4. One of my most fun chores was shopping in Target with Caleb. He is so entertaining as he comments on everything that passes by. In the ladies clothes isle he helped me pick out a new shirt to wear and insisted that he try it on first. Too bad I don't have a picture of that one! When we first got to Target it was 8:15am on Saturday morning and needless to say there were very few people there. It took him awhile to realize it but he finally stopped talking suddenly and exclaimed, "Where are all the people?" I think he got a little creeped out that it seemed we were all alone in this huge store.

5. Caleb can finally say my whole name correctly!!! I was actually a little sad about this because I am always entertained by the nicknames kids give me because my name is so difficult to pronounce. Caleb, I will always be your "Auntie BF"!

6. Other ways we filled our time: taking a walk with Caleb's gigantic and very strong dog Genie, going to Chuck-E-Cheese, reading books, swinging on the swing, making and eating skinny pancakes, wrestling on the floor, looking at all of Auntie Ray Ray's Facebook pictures online, going to pick up Grandma Gray at the airport, eating HOT chocolate and HOTcakes at the Carriage House with Grandma Gray (Caleb thought it was cool that the word hot was in two parts of his meal.), taking a bath (Caleb thinks shampoo is of the devil.), seeing baby Jackson for the first time, and hanging out with Auntie Kristen and Uncle Sam.

After our long weekend together I explained to Caleb that Grandma Gray was coming in a few hours and then I would go back to live at my own house. His reply was, "and then I am going to MISS you!". Ahhhhh. . .I love those moments!

Thanks for a fabulous weekend Bebub! Let's do it again! And major props to Ben and Lindsay on raising a wonderful boy and giving birth to a second! May you continue to have such beautiful, vivacious, talkative, and loving children!



(. . .and now I need to go clean up all the fruit gummies, fish snack crumbs, and Chuck-E-Cheese tokens in my car. . . ha ha Caleb is as messy as his Auntie and I don't have the excuse of being two!)

Guess who else is slimming down???!!!

One of the additional benefits of my new healthier lifestyle has been the emergence of a healthier husband! I no longer bake snickerdoodles to show my love for Dan. Instead we go for a run together like we did last night or I make him homemade salsa or mahi mahi fish dinner. He has been playing tennis about 9 hours a week and that has also definitely helped. I am so proud of Dan! In the last six weeks he has lost 21 pounds! Go Dan!

IVF vs Embryonic Adoption

Along our journey to start our family Dan and I have had to make MANY decisions.

One of the many decisions Dan and I have had to make was how far we would pursue infertility treatments before we would stop trying to have our own biological children. When I learned that only 60-70% of the embryos survive being thawed for transfer I knew that IVF was not for us. Dan and I believe that life begins at conception and I could not freeze embryos knowing that 30-40% of them would die in the freeze/thaw process. We could of course opt for transferring all of the fresh embryos and not freeze any but this would not give us a very good chance for success for our money.

This is when the decision making really began. Should we be DINKs for life and focus on further investing in our family, friends, students and coworkers? (DINK = Double Income No Kids) Should we look to adopt? Should we do international, domestic, foster-to-adopt, or embryonic adoption? If an international adoption, which country do we adopt from? How do we feel about adopting a non-Caucasian child? A boy or girl? Older or younger? A special needs child? How much can we afford to spend on adoption? Which agency should we go with or should we pursue private adoption with a lawyer?

Two years later after much research, discussion with others who have adopted, and much thought and prayer we finally feel at peace with our decision to pursue embryonic adoption through the National Embryo Donation Center and Bethany Christian Services.