September Adoption Update

Well September has been an extremely busy month for us. It seems with Dan's dad's passing we have had far less time than we had origially planned to work on our homestudy paperwork. But. . .we are almost done!!! Dan and I just have to finish our 54 essay questions each, get our very busy bosses to fill out our employment verification paperwork, and pay the rest of our homestudy fee. We also have a few little things to do for the NEDC (digital copies of three photos and our dear donor letter). We are so excited for the next steps and can't wait to officially be out of the paper chase phase of our adoption. Those next steps will be to do our homestudy interviews and house visit with Bethany and then wait to hear from the NEDC to schedule our initial visit to Knoxville, TN to meet our doctor. I have heard from others who are completing their transfer with the NEDC that the wait is a bit longer than we anticipated. I am trying not to be discouraged but just take everything one step at a time. We have waited this long a few more months won't matter that much in the long run.

In the meantime I have begun to read a GREAT book called Adopted for Life by Russell Moore. In this book Moore asserts that, "The gospel of Jesus Christ—the good news that through Jesus we have been adopted as sons and daughters into God’s family—means that Christians ought to be at the forefront of the adoption of orphans in North America and around the world." Moore writes from his own experience of adopting his two boys from Russia. I have only just begun reading this text but I have found it an excellent mix of adoption philosophy/theology and personal anecdote. (Thanks for the recommendation Betsy!)

Lastly, in anticipation of our future embryo transfer I have been working hard to improve my health and I am excited to report that I have lost 40 pounds since June! Thanks to all my motivators out there who help me stay focused. I have many more pounds to go!


Well that is all for now! Hopefully my next entry in our blog will be to tell you all that we have completed all of our adoption homestudy paperwork!

God is good all the time. . .

The Shackleton Family Tree

At Alvin's funeral on Saturday I learned so much about the Shackleton family which led me to an internet search. Here is what I found out:


Dan's Great Great Great Grandpa was John Shackleton who was from Leeds, England.

Dan's Great Great Grandpa and Grandma were Stephen Shackleton and Susan Waymire. (Stephen is the one who brought the Shackletons to the USA in 1854 when he arrived in New York.)

Dan's Great Grandpa and Grandma were John William Shackleton and Jane Elizabeth Wise;

Dan's Grandpa and Grandma were Stephen Frederick Shackleton and Lena Chessie(Dykstra) Shackleton.

Dan's Dad is Alvin Shackleton.


This is the family tree I found on the internet that corresponds with the information presented at the funeral:

Stephen Shackleton was the son of John Shackleton of Leeds, England. John was a wealthy lawyer. Stephen b. 13 October 1835 in Leeds, England. He studied law under his father and was admitted to the bar at the age of nineteen. Stephen left the same year, 1854, for New York. He married Susan Waymire (she was of German descent) on 24 October 1857 at Fort Madison, Iowa; b. 18 March 1840 at Independence Hill, Indiana; d. 31 August 1897; Stephen d. 2 July 1912; both are buried at Mautrase or Mankato, Kansas

Children of Stephen Shackleton and Susan Waymire:

i. John William, b. 10 September 1858, d. 1 September 1887, buried at Hill City, Kansas; m. Jane Elizabeth Wise on 16 February 1878; b. 23 February 1861, d. 6 November 1892, buried at Deepwater, Missouri; 4 children

Children of John William Shackleton and Jane Elizabeth Wise:
1. Stephen Frederick, b. 2 February 1880 in Tarkio, Atchison County, Missouri; d. 31 May 1933 in Rice Lake, Wisconsin and is buried there; m. Lena Chessie Dykstra (daughter of Peter G. Dykstra and Gertrude Iedema) on 21 December 1911 in Nashau, Montana; b. 12 December 1891 in LaMars, Iowa, d. 3 July 1955 in Cornell, Wisconsin; buried at Rice Lake, Wisconsin; 4 children; (a) Loren Frederick, b. 5 October 1912 in Nashua, Montana, d. 6 April 1998; (b) Benjamin Lee, b. 1 June 1914 in Nashau, Montana, d. 18 February 2002 in Grand Rapids, Kent County, Michigan; m. Margaret Elinor Burnett (see obituary page) (daughter of Matt Kochevar and Margaret Simonick; she was adopted and raised by Volney Irwin Burnett and Ella Huddleson) on 27 February 1938 in Cornell, Wisconsin; b. 4 January 1915 in Buhl, St. Louis County, Minnesota, d. 16 December 2001 in Michigan; 3 children; Ruth Ann, m. Ronald Martin Denniston (son of Rev. Otis and Evalene Denniston) they have 2 daughters, Cynthia Lou and Linda Jo; Janet Lee, m. Virgil LaMar Leatherman (son of Joseph and Marjorie Leatherman) they have 3 children, Scott Allen, Lori Lee, and Julie Lynn; Dr. Benjamin Alan, m. Jane Colette Hendrickson, they have 1 daughter, Kelly Jo; (c) Alvin William; (d) Frederick Gerald
2. Lee Edward, b. 14 May 1881 in Tarkio, Atchison County, Missouri, d. 25 April 1951, m. Dora Elva Haworth (daughter of Perry and Vena Haworth) in February 1901; b. 28 June 1885, d. 3 May 1947; 8 children, (a) Morris William, b. 15 April 1901, d. June 1978, m. Gladys Maude Lane on 10 December 1921 in Barron, Wisconsin; b. 19 July 1904, d. February 1995; 2 children, (i) Milford Lee, b. 24 August 1922 in Hillsdale, Wisconsin, d. 15 November 1999, m. Pearl Agnew on 10 December 1946 in Ladysmith, Wisconsin; they had 2 daughters, Linda Sue, m. Robert Mayer, 2 children, Malisa Marie and Timothy Robert; and Joyce; (ii) Betty Jane; (b) Milo Perry, b. 4 June 1903, m. Genevieve Charity Bliven (daughter of William Robert Bliven and Amanda Viola Flowers); 10 children, (i) Robert Lee, m. Clarice; (ii) Elva Viola, m. Earl Cook; (iii) Sarah Jane; (iv) Dora May, m. Bud Carrell; (v) Raymond Edward, m. Millie; (vi) Don Andrew; (vii) Richard "Dick" Earl, m. Lois; (viii) Paul Stanley, m. Marty; (ix) David Perry, (see obituary page) b. 30 March 1948 in Ladysmith, Wisconsin, d. 18 February 2000, buried Forest Hill Cemetery, Stanton, Dunn County, Wisconsin, m. Karen Rundle; 3 children, David, m. Teresa, Sam and Shayne; (x) Daniel Allan, m. Wendy; (c) Florence Mable; (d) Elmer Edward, b. 14 October 1909, d. 1924, buried Prarie Farm, Wisconsin; (e) Vernon Lee, b. 17 October 1915, d. 8 May 2001; (f) Alfred Leroy, b. 17 October 1918, d. April 1982; (g) Faith Elaine; (h) Stephen Paul, b. 21 February 1929, d. August 1986
3. William "Clyde", b. 27 April 1884 in Tarkio, Atchison County, Missouri, d. 4 September 1950, buried in Cornell, Wisconsin, m. Catherine Traxler (daughter of Jacob and Ruth Traxler) on 16 August 1905 in Beaver City, Nebraska; b. 5 March 1885 in Mt. Pleasant, Iowa, d. 7 February 1949, buried in Cornell, Wisconsin; 7 children, (a) Howard Albert, b. 18 May 1906 in Furnas County, Nebraska, d. August 1981; (b) Laura Pearl; (c) Floyd Stephen, b. 8 August 1909 in Furnas County, Nebraska, d. 18 December 1991, m. Susan Bozonie (daughter of John and Susan Bozonie) 3 children, (i) Michael Allen, m. Ruth Ann Miller (daughter of Melvin and Martha Miller) 2 children, Debra Sue and Michael Paul; (ii) Dennis Floyd, m. Jeanne Marie Albertson (daughter of Lawerance and Dora Albertson) 2 sons, Mark Dennis and Stephen Edward; (iii) Mary Susan, m. Keith Lowell Eliason (son of Keith Lamar and Ethel Annette Eliason) 3 sons, Kurt Lowell, David John, and Brian Keith; (d) (Reverand) Cecil Ward, b. 27 July 1911 in Montrace, Jewell County, Kansas, d. 13 April 1983, m. Jeanette Monica Gangstad (see obituary page) b. 29 September 1914 in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, d. 31 August 2000, buried at Prairie View Cemetery (family plot) in Hallie, Wisconsin; 7 children, (i) Della, m. Dale Fisk, 2 children, Sylvia (d. before January 2000), m. Alan Jones; Carol, (see obituary page) b. 10 April 1960 in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin, d. 18 January 2000 in Green Grove, Clark County, Wisconsin, m. Terry Wood (divorced); 4 children, Phillip, Isaac, Elijah, and Sienna; (ii) Laura, m. Jesse Ruby; one son, Joseph Edwin; (iii) Evelyn; (iv) Pearl, m. Phillip Veile; one daughter, Susan Marie; (v) Sarah, m. LaVerne Larson; (vi) Jeanette; (vii) Warren Cecil, d. before September 2000; (e) Mabel Ruth; (f) Gale Clarence, b. 17 July 1922 in Furnas County, Nebraska, d. 28 May 1989; (g) Dale Clyde, b. 17 July 1922 in Furnas County, Nebraska, d. 31 October 1992
4. Pearl, b. 3 April 1886 in Hill City, Graham County, Kansas

ii. Charles Henry, b. 14 February 1861, d. 1864
iii. Mary Jane, b. 6 February 1863, d. 1864
iv. Elizabeth Aletha, b. 30 May 1866, d. 12 March 1876
v. George Edward "Ed" b. 27 July 1868, m. Liddia Harrison; 2 daughters, Icie, m. Omar Duncan; and Hallie, d. 15 August 1912
vi. Harriet "Nellie" Ellen, b. 11 October 1870, m. G.A. Leckenby on 1 February 1887; 1 son, Stephen Lee (could be Leroy), b. 3 December 1888, d. 1 February 1944
vii. Stephen "Dick" Matthew, b. 9 November 1872, m. Nellie Haworth in February 1898; 7 children, Lewis Vernon, Elsa, Elva, Eugene, Clifford, Charles and Ruby
viii. Solomon Alfred, b. 18 December 1875, d. 18 March 1876
ix. James Franklin "Frank", b. 7 February 1877, m. Gertrude Thorp on 25 December 1900; 8 children, John, Merle, Harold, Frank, Margaret, Mildred, Owen, and Rusell
x. Maud May, b. 15 September 1880, d. in Jewell, Kansas, m. John Franklin Wyatt on 30 May 1902; he died in Jewell, Kansas; 2 children, Margaret Fay and Russell
xi. Susan Maggie, b. 30 June 1883, m. (1) S. Ernest Cope on 11 August 1904; 1 son Laverne, b. 20 February 1905; m. (2) Mr. MacNamara

HOW AWESOME IS THIS???!!!!

Fall is around the corner!

In an effort to cheer myself up at the start of the school year I try to get excited about the coziness of decorating for fall. I love the pumpkins, leaves, and the spicy color pallate. I change all the air fresheners to cinnamon and spice flavors and change out the wreath on the front door. I put out the sweet cinnamon pumpkin hand wash and fall themed hand towels in the guest bath and change the beachy themed candle display on the dinning room hutch to a harvest themed display. I baked pumpkin bread for the first time since Christmas last week. I wear bronze colored eye shadow and paint my nails with my fallish bronze/reddish nail polish. I suppose this is my version of what Maria on the Sound of Music would suggest: to focus on the things you like so that the negative parts of life don't seem so bad. Happy fall everyone!

Anatomy of a Doggie Nap

A few weeks ago I snapped these pics of Jersey while she took a 20 minute doggie nap. She is so funny!

Self Study Questions

As part of our adoption homestudy we each must answer in complete sentences all of the questions listed below. That is 54 short answer / essay responses! Wow. . . I am taking the advice of my cousin who has been down this road- fill it out a few questions a day. I should be done by October! (As I fill out my questions I will bold them.)

Personality
1. Describe your personality; include what you view as your strengths and weaknesses.
2. Briefly explain the events and experiences in your life that you feel have shaped your personality.
3. What are your hobbies and interests? How do you spend your leisure time?
4. Describe a personal achievement that you are proud of.
5. List some personal goals for yourself and your family.
6. Have you struggled with any addictions, including drugs, alcohold, food or pronography? If so, when and how have you overcomeit?
7. What was the biggest disappointment or loss you have exeprienced in your life and how did you cope with it?
8. Have you ever received psychological counseling? If so, when, for how long and why?

Childhood and Family of Origin
1. Describe the family you grew up in.
a. Who was in the family, what were their relationships to each other?
b. What was your relationship with your parents like?
c. What were your feelings about other family members?
d. What were the positive and negative qualities of your family?
2. Describe the values, traditions, and expectations you feel your parents attempted to instill in you.
3. Describe your parent’s relationship to each other while you were growing up and currently.
4. What do you admire about your parent’s relationship and what might or have you done differently?
5. What kind of child were you? How did you spend your time? Who were your friends? What are your most pleasant childhood memories and unhappy memories?
6. What methods did your parents use to discipline you and your siblings?
7. Describe your family’s communication. How did they settle differences?
8. Do you have any history of physical, sexual, emotional abuse or neglect? If so, when and how have you moved past it?

Marriage
1. How did you meet your spouse? What attracted you to him/her?
2. How are you both alike? How do you differ?
3. What strengths do you bring to the marriage? What strengths does your partner bring to the marriage?
4. How has your relationship evolved over the years? What do you admire about him/her now?
5. What are his/her strong and weak points?
6. What areas would you like to grow in as a spouse? What are areas you would like to see your spouse grow in?
7. What are the common interests and activities you do as a family?
8. Describe what you feel keeps the relationship continuing.
9. If possible, what would you change about the relationship to your spouse?
10. Communication in a marriage means. . .? How does your spouse encourage communication? How does your spouse stifle it?
11. What are your main areas of disagreement?
12. How do you settle differences of opinion or disagreements with each other? Describe a problem in your marriage which has been overcome – how did you work it out?
13. How have you divided family responsibilities such as wage earning, household jobs, and childcare?
14. What are your priorities when you spend money? Do you have guidelines that you use when making purchases? Do you and your spouse agree on this?
15. What are your relationships with each other’s families?
a. Do they live within visiting distance?
b. When do you get together?
c. What is your relationship like with your father-in-law? Mother-in-law?
d. What are the similarities and differences between the two families of origin, and how have these families impacted your marriage?
16. Describe ways you have learned to balance personal freedom with responsiblies to your spouse and family.
17. What role does your physical relationship play in your marriage?
18. Have there been any incidence of infidelity in your dating, engaged or married relationship? If som please discuss how it impacted your relationship.
19. Please describe the circumstances of any previous marriage(s)/divorce(s).
a. List problem areas in the previous relationship and how you came to dissolve the marriage.
b. What did you learn from this experience? How do you feel this experience has affected your current marriage?
c. Were there any children as a result of this previous marriage? If so, what is your relationship to them now?
20. Do you have any children from any other previous relationships?

Children
1. If you have children already, please describe them (age, personality, interests, etc.).
2. How do you anticipate a child (or another child) will impact your life socially, maritally, vocationally, and personally? How will you adjust for and/oraddress these challenges?
3. What strength and experiences do you have as a person that you feel will help you parent?
4. What will your methods of discipline be with children? How would you set limits? How would you arrive at this? What do you feel are the important characteristics of good discipline?
5. What qualities, values, and character would you like to develop in your children and how would you go about promoting these? (Happy, well-adjusted children need. . . )
6. Will you arrange a leave from work? If not, what are your child care arrangements?
7. How will your parenting resemble/differ from that of your parents?
8. Who will you look to as a source of support and information to assist you in your parenting (ie: friend, parent support group, sibling, etc.)?

Adoption
1. When did you first start thinking about adoption and why?
2. Do you and your spouse feel the same about adopting? Who initiated the action?
3. How does your extended family and friends feel about your adopting?
4. What are your expectations for the adoption process?
5. What concerns do you have regarding the adoption process?
6. How would you feel abou an adoptive child’s desire to gain information about his/her birthparent(s)?
7. Do you have any concerns about bonding to the child or the child bonding to you?
8. What do you plan to communicate to your child about your reason for wanting to adopt him or her? How would you help you child understand adoption?
9. Please explain your view of a birthparent and why and/or how birthparents release a child for adoption.
10. If you have children, how are you presenting the adoption to them? What are their feelings regarding the adoption?

Is there any other significant information or events that has not been shared in the previous questions that you feel would be pertinent for us to know?

My Race Calendar

Now that I can run again it is time to schedule some fun races in my future! Here is my tentative race calendar. Anyone want to join me? Anyone have another race suggestion? I probably won't run all of these (too expensive!) so which ones should I do??? The races I am most excited about are marked with an *. As I register for the events I will mark them "Registered".

Fun Forrest Run 5K* REGISTERED (Dan & Eliz)
Sunday October 11, 2009 in Long Beach
$35

Dana Point Turkey Trot 10K* REGISTERED (Eliz only)
Thursday November 26, 2009 in Dana Point
$30

Las Vegas Half-Marathon
December 6, 2009 in Las Vegas
$115

Carlsbad Half-Marathon
January 24, 2010 in Carlsbad
$65

Surf City USA Half-Marathon
Sunday February 7, 2010 in Huntington Beach (This is Superbowl Sunday.)
$85

LA Marathon: "Stadium to the Sea"*
Sunday March 21, 2010 Starts at Dodger Stadium and ends at the ocean in Santa Monica
$125

OC Half-Marathon
Sunday May 2, 2010 in Newport, Corona Del Mar, Irvine, Costa Mesa
$50

Our Letter & Profile Pictures

Part of the adoption process is that we have to be matched with prospective embryo donors. Dan and I make a profile from which tells the donors about us. If they like us then we get to look at their information and if we like them then it is a match. Below are some the pictures we considered adding to our profile as well as our letter to our prospective embryo donors.

Dear Donor Family,

Thank you for taking time to view our profile. We are very excited at the prospects of one day growing our family and thankful that you might consider entrusting your embryos to our care.

Who we are as a family
Nearly eight years ago we took a “big leap” and went on a blind date arranged by Elizabeth’s mom and a mutual friend. Our date to Disneyland was an adventure and it didn’t take long for us to realize that we made a great couple and were meant to live a lifetime together. Eleven months and countless dates later, Dan proposed on Thanksgiving in front of both of our families. Seven months after that we were married by Dan’s dad (a pastor) in a 90-year old Dutch church in front of 300 of our family members, coworkers, and friends. We have now been married for over six years and enjoy the simple things in life like walks around the neighborhood, a good home cooked meal, watching our favorite baseball and football teams play, taking in a movie at the local drive-in, and competing with each other on the Wii or in other games. However, we also enjoy going on adventures large and small whether it be a trip to Europe, to the local mountains, a nearby jazz concert, or a day at the beach. We both appreciate travel and experiencing different cultures so much that we have purchased a timeshare that will allow us to share our future adventures with our children.

Our Christian faith and our church family play an important role in our lives. Our passion for the sanctity of life stems from the example of Christ who values all people and excludes none. Our hope as future parents is to raise our children to develop a relationship with God and to learn to be respectful and compassionate individuals. We want to encourage the unique qualities of our children and celebrate the unique dynamic that he or she brings to our family. We want to provide our children with opportunities to pursue their gifts and passions and open their eyes to a world of experiences they could never imagine. Most of all we want our children to feel unconditionally loved by us, by our extended family, by our church family, and our friends.

Why Embryo Donation/Adoption?
We decided early in our relationship that we wanted to be parents. However, after five years of infertility, unsuccessful fertility treatments, and one miraculous pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, we began contemplating adoption options. It was difficult to come to grips with our infertility but we have grown closer as a couple because of our trials and we are SO excited about the opportunity to become parents through embryonic donation/adoption, experience pregnancy and birth, and share our lives with our future children.

About Elizabeth (By Dan)
Elizabeth is a high school English teacher and honors academy coordinator. In college she earned both a BA in English and a BM in Music Performance. She loves teaching all types of literature. She loves to travel with me and experience worldwide locations steeped in history and romance. She is an extremely talented musician and loves performing in the church orchestra, at weddings, and for family at holidays. She has an unmatched dedication to helping children of all learning levels; she adapts well when faced with adversity and pours her heart into everything she does. While she enjoys being able to work with her students at the high school she is eagerly looking forward to her transition to becoming a stay at home mom and spending time with our kids. She also hopes to teach music lessons out of our home part-time. She loves children’s books and has already collected a library of children’s literature for our future kids. She has a fun and energetic reading style that puts a smile on my face every time she reads to our nephews. Elizabeth is an outstanding cook and makes wonderful meals that bring countless compliments from friends, family, and myself. She has a great eye for decorating and is sought out by others for her artistic eye. She has been a blessing to me as a wife and friend. I know she will be a creative, encouraging, and loving mom!

About Dan (By Elizabeth)
Dan is an amazing husband and will make an equally amazing father! I secretly relish those moments when I find him playing on the floor playing cars with my nephews knowing one day he will be doing that with our own children. I love how his witty humor, practicality, and vibrant personality compliments my own character traits. Dan is a man of many talents and interests. He is an avid tennis player, great handy man, and excellent at planning fun surprises! Dan decided early in his youth to serve the community by becoming a police officer. His role is to protect the public and help those who have been victimized. His gentle compassion and patience coupled with his leadership skills makes him an excellent and well-respected officer. I feel very fortunate that he has enough seniority on the job to have “family man” hours so we can spend plenty of time together as a couple. I am proud of Dan for going back to school in his late twenties to earn his BS in organizational leadership with a minor in biblical studies. It is just one of many examples of how he pursues excellence in his life and strives to be the best leader for our family that he can be.

Our Home and Community
We recently purchased our newest home last year specifically because we knew one day soon we would begin to expand our family through adoption. It is a warm and cozy house with plenty of space including a room we hope to soon turn into our nursery! While our neighborhood is located in close proximity to a major city on the west coast of the U.S. we enjoy the fact that our immediate neighborhood (which is a recent development) is more rural in nature. We enjoy the many parks, our community pool, hearing the cows moo at night and taking short 30 min. drives to the nearby beaches and mountains. We are also excited about the new elementary school opening this year near our home.

We hope you have enjoyed learning about us! We know your decision must be difficult for you and we want to assure you that if your wish is for us to become the adoptive parents of your embryos we will honor you by cherishing this most amazing gift!

With much respect and admiration,

Dan and Elizabeth