RE Office Behavior Expectations...and Reality

"To ensure the safety of your child and optimize your visit, please refrain from bringing children to your appointment, if possible." Thank You

This is the sign that hangs right next to the reception desk in Dr. K's office.  During my last several visits there have been families with children in the waiting room: once a woman with an infant and toddler, a different time a couple with a toddler and a baby, another time an Italian/English speaking family with two boys in the 3-4 years old range, and today a couple with a young toddler (maybe 18 months old).   Most of the time these families have not only brought children into a place that should be child free but they turn the waiting room into their own personal romper room: they are loud, overly permissive with their children letting them climb all over everything and once even play a game of tag around the office, and seem to be oblivious to the fact that the majority of men and women who are sitting in the waiting room are there because they are going through a very intense, emotional, and perhaps painful experience in trying to have a child.

Many times it would have been MUCH easier for me to bring Lena with me to my appointments.  I usually have to drive an extra 90 minutes to take her to stay with family while I am at my appointment.  But I want to respect the fact that when someone is waiting anxiously to find out if they will finally be a mom or if their hopes will be crushed they don't want to be bombarded with images of what they cannot yet have.  The RE office should be a safe zone - and as stress free as possible.  I totally get that some people might not have the luxury of having family near by to watch older siblings while they attend appointments.  Even the sign in the RE office acknowledges this when they use the words "if possible".  But these families are intrusive and insensitive with their behavior.  Dad and the kids could wait in the large hall outside until the family is called back for their appointment.  Parents could have quieter activities or snacks prepared to keep their kids more subdued in the waiting room.  It is just hard for me to excuse the selfish behavior of these families.
Maybe I am over reacting.  I don't think so.  Infertility is a difficult and emotionally trying experience.  Anyone who adds to the emotional burden of an infertile person is a sadist or incredibly self-focused.

Good Bye For Now Dr. K! - Ultrasound #3: Released!

Early this week I was surprised to see that I passed some old blood and clots.  It was a little unnerving at first but when I called Dr. K's office to speak with the nurse she confirmed that it was nothing to be concerned about unless the blood was fresh and I had cramping.  I've miscarried before and know how it feels and so I was not overly concerned especially when I kept getting the baby's heartbeat on the doppler all week.  It was still great to see at our ultrasound today that Baby Shack is doing great!  It seems to me that the old blood might have been from a second baby that implanted and then miscarried early which is why my BETA numbers were perhaps so crazy.

Today I am 10 weeks and 5 days pregnant and he/she is measuring at 42.2mm with a heartbeat of 162 bpm and is coming in at 11 weeks and 3 days - just a bit ahead of schedule.  Baby Shack was dancing in the womb today.  Dr. K said that our baby has great rhythm.  The last RE visit is always bittersweet to me.  Dr. K and his staff are second to none and as much as I think I will like my new OB/GYN Dr. K is the best.  I won't miss however driving all the way to his office for my appointments!

I am excited that Baby Shack is doing so great considering our roller coaster of a ride we've been on at the beginning of this FET cycle.  Being released to the OB/GYN is a huge milestone and is making this pregnancy feel much more real.  I am excited to see Baby Shack again on Feb 4th at our first OB ultrasound!

The Doppler

During our pregnancy with Lena we purchased a pocket fetal doppler so we could hear the baby's heartbeat at home when we wanted.  Dopplers can usually pick up the heartbeat starting around 10 weeks so yesterday we gave it a try and in about 4 minutes we found our little one's heartbeat!  It was so very exciting to hear that sweet "whish,whish,whish" sound.  Our doppler was the best $45 investment we've made in awhile!  I remember being surprised that when I had my first OB visits that all my doctor would do is:
1) weigh me and take my blood pressure
2) ask my due date (which I thought they were supposed to tell me)
3) ask me if I had any questions
4) find the baby's heartbeat using a fetal doppler
5) feel my belly to check for size

After having ultrasounds every visit with the RE the visits to the OB seemed pretty pointless especially when we had our own doppler at home to hear the heartbeat.  I remember my old OB called me "spoiled" since I was an RE patient.  What a dodo!  I can't wait to see what my visits with Dr. C will be like.  She already is giving me an ultrasound at my first appointment (without me asking) which is way more than my old OB did.

NO MORE SHOTS!!!

Tomorrow I will be 10 weeks pregnant (1/4 the way through my pregnancy!) and this pregnancy is finally starting to sink in.  It always feels more real and normal once I start going to the OB/GYN.  Yesterday at 9 weeks and 5 days was my very last day of daily injections.  YEA!!!!  I've been on daily injections since the beginning of November so my backside is incredibly bruised, swollen, full of knots, and the skin is patchy red.  Not a pretty sight so it is good that nobody has to see my backside except Dan!  In six days I have my last appointment and ultrasound with Dr. K (happy/sad) and then my first OB appointment and ultrasound is on February 4th.  I have decided to switch OB doctors in my practice to a female doctor, the doctor whom I liked the best during my four days of labor when I had Lena and also the doctor who performed my c-section.  I am so excited to have Dr. C as my new OB for the following reasons:
1.  She is a woman and it has been a LONG time since I've had female medical professional.
2.  She has experienced infant loss and will be understanding of any fear I might have about losing my pregnancy.
3.  She has personally had a successful vaginal birth after having a c-section and will be able to advise me on this matter first hand.
4. She is athletic and will be able to give me great advice about staying in shape while pregnant.
5.  I really like the way she handled my preclampsia compared to the other doctors I saw in the hospital.
6.  She is personable and doesn't make me feel dumb or over-reactive when I ask questions or have concerns.
7.  I have hopes that she will listen to my concerns when they may arise unlike my last OB who blew off my concerns when my body felt "off", refused to let me reduce my work schedule, and missed my preclampsia which was caught by another doctor I saw when he was on vacation.

Baby Shack is continuing to wear me out and this week I feel like he/she has been growing quite a bit.  I have been hungry more frequently, my belly is feeling bigger, and my body is exhausted.  I am so thankful that for the most part I don't have any nausea. I hear morning sickness is a beast and I am glad to escape it!  I am really looking forward to seeing Baby Shack's heartbeat and wiggly body on the ultrasound again on Friday.  I brought out my fetal doppler in the meantime and will try to get the baby's heartbeat on it this week.

FET #5: Ultrasound #2

Today we had our second ultrasound at 9 weeks and 1 day.  We were excited an amazed to see our little baby wiggling on the ultrasound screen.  Baby Shack measured 25mm (just about an inch long), heart rate of 175 bpm, and is measuring at 9 weeks and 4 days a little ahead of schedule.  We are so thankful for our little fighter who is growing big and strong!  We have one more ultrasound with Dr. K on January 17th and then I will be released to my OB/GYN!  I also only have four more days of shots left which is great news for my bruised and knotted backside!  I've been taking daily injections since the beginning of November and I am ready to be done with the needles!

Checking In: One Week Until FET#5 Ultrasound #2

Yesterday I was 8 weeks pregnant.  Many people have been asking how I am feeling lately and the truth is that how I feel changes on a daily basis.  Some days I feel totally normal physically while other days I feel plenty of first trimester symptoms (mostly nausea, exhaustion, and some ligament pulling/stretching).  Just two days ago I was feeling especially worried that our baby isn't going to make it after hearing bad news about three other embryo adoption families who have lost their babies in the last week.  We have had a few first trimester losses before and I would rather not have to endure that kind of loss again.  I hadn't felt any "changes" lately and that was scaring me a little.  I felt tired and a little nauseous but with out the belly stretching it is easy to write off the other symptoms as medically induced.  Then there was yesterday and today...I feel super pregnant.  I feel awful...I LOVE IT!  The morning sickness is getting stronger and I have felt the discomfort in my belly again which is good.  I am usually a person who gets 7 hours of sleep and then I am good but lately I have been getting closer to 9 or 10 hours of sleep and could probably sleep more if Lena would let me.  There is one more week before my next ultrasound (on January 6th).  We are just doing our best to enjoy this pregnancy, stay cautiously optimistic, and pray daily for our little miracle baby to keep fighting and grow, grow, grow!

FET #5: The First Ultrasound...Meet Our Miracle!

Today we got to see our new baby again and this time we heard his/her heartbeat!  

Dan was super calm before and I was too up until my wait in the ultrasound room.  It was the longest 10 minutes of my life waiting for Dr. K to come in after I got ready for my ultrasound.

Right before the ultrasound...can you tell I am just a little anxious?

Dr. K quickly sensed my nerves and got right to the ultrasound and was fast to point out the beating heart of our new baby!  

 

 I felt so many feelings during those few minutes:  I was excited and so very relieved to see a heartbeat, I was sad we lost the other two babies although not surprised considering my low BETA numbers, I was exhausted from the emotional toll of the day, I was thankful that our miracle baby had made it this far when he/she wasn't even supposed to survive being thawed, and still nervous about this baby's future.  I am totally spent after this day.  It was a wonderful day and we are so thankful!

Dan gives a thumbs up by the picture of Shack Baby #2!

After our ultrasound we made the drive back across town and had a nice late lunch before we headed back to pickup Lena at my parent's house.  Our next ultrasound is in a few weeks on January 6th when I will be 9w1d.  It will likely be my last appointment before I get released to my OB/GYN and also when I get to stop taking my daily injections!

Shack Baby #2 has a heartbeat of 122bpm.

Our baby is measuring 6 weeks and 3 days at 7.4mm.