Do these pictures make you excited or sad?
(Baby things I have collected for our future children and for Baby Shack that we lost three years ago.)
(My Tahoe that we traded Dan's loved truck in for to be our family car in 2004.)
(Our four bedroom 3 bathroom house that we bought in 2008 in a family friendly neighborhood right on a tot lot park.)
( My children's library that rarely gets used. I've been collecting kids books for our children for years now.)
(My super cute maternity jeans and shirts that I bought (and sometimes wear) because since I lost so much weight I don't fit into my old clothes and I didn't want to invest money in clothes that would only fit for a few months. )
I know in my head that these things are huge blessings. I'd like to say that they make me excited for what is to come but today they just make me a little sad. Yeah. . . I don't really have much else to say about it for once. It is just one of the waves of emotion that comes with infertility.
11 comments:
One way or another, the things will get used, the books will get read, the car will have car seats, and the house will fill up. Feeling for you, and praying for you today, and always.
Me too Elizabeth. I hope and pray you get some good news this week. -Kathryn
I never bought any maternity clothes (thankfully) but I wanted to so bad. I also collected a few children's books through the years. Now I'm collecting baby things believing and trusting God that we'll get to use them soon! Praying for huge blessings for you this year!
I've had those days too, when seeing certain things makes me sad. Especially after we lost Makenzie and not knowing if we would ever have another child. Going into her room and seeing all of her stuff was hard. Seeing my maternity clothes reminded me of a time when we were blissfully unaware of our sad future.
And, now I struggle between two worlds--one where I am so happy to have my sweet and lively little girl and the other where all I can think about are my 4 failed pregnancies and my daughter that's no longer with us.
I wish I had some sort of inspirational advice for you. All I've got is persistence. Keep trying and trying and trying until you just don't want to keep trying anymore. I hope you'll get to use all that stuff soon.
I totally get it. I have those things too. They make me sad, honestly. Those tangible items are the only part of a baby that we really have.
On the flip side, I cannot wait to wear maternity pants. Literally. They are going to be so comfortable. PLEASE, let it be within this week that I get to wear maternity pants!!!
Elizabeth, know that I am praying that you will have good news so very soon and all your dreams of motherhood will be granted by our Heavenly Father. I wuv you so very much friend!
hugs (( ))
thanks for being real.
love to you all from us all.
Love you friend. I am sad with you and have great hope for the day when I will be rejoicing with you.
I am praying for you now. I don't know the "right" words to say and I won't pretend I do. I can say that I am blessed to know you. Your strength, courage and honest perspective lets me know what wonderful people you are. Thank you for sharing your feelings so openly. Your blogs touch me. I hope to get to know you better. Possibly do a triathlon together one day???
Hugs to you. I wish there were more of use that I could say and I am sorry I can't be more graceful with words, but I send you my love and continue to offer my prayers. Love for always. Anna
I have those waves too. I so far have not caved and bought anything for the future. John knows me to well and I would dwell...although there has been a few really cute maternity shirts I wish I would have picked up.
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