I had to call Dr. K's office to get my results. It was almost the close of the work day and I didn't want to endure the waiting any longer. Mrs. A the coordinator talked with me to let me know that my HCG went down from 15 to 0 so there is definitely no babies this time. I can't say that I am very surprised. The stretching ballooning feeling I was having 4-5 days ago completely disappeared a few days ago and a few other HPTs that were more sensitive than the Dollar Tree brand came back totally negative. I am just glad to have closure on this FET. I am super sad about losing four more of Lena's genetic siblings. We only have one embryo left from her match- a blast that we refroze after it was thawed and grown out from Lena's FET in 2011. We also have two blasts from our Snowflakes match. We will likely use these three embryos in our next FET which will likely be sometime in October. If that FET is unsuccessful we will then jump back on our clinic's waiting list to adopt more donated embryos. I confirmed with Mrs. A that this option is definitely a possibility for us. Thanks for all the kind words and prayers for our family and our babies. It meant so much to know that people were praying for us, encouraging us, (and some of you) sharing your own similar experiences and losses. I am sad but also ready to bring our last three embryos to life as soon as my body is ready. In the mean time to cope I will:
1. Enjoy life with my beautiful miracle daughter and loving husband.
2. Return to bootcamp - TONIGHT! I feel like such a wimpy marshmallow!
3. Race in the Long Beach sprint distance triathlon on September 8. (I already registered..)
4. Run the Long Beach Half Marathon on October 13 with Team Mike!
5. Begin fundraising for FET #5 - I listed tons of stuff on Craigslist today, I also listed a new timeshare week for rent on Redweek.com (you may have to create a free account to view it), we are having a garage sale on Saturday, and I have tons of stuff to post in my EBAY store which will reopen soon.
To God be the glory in all things. The miracle in this is not a baby, but that in the loss I don't feel bitter or angry.
Birthday Fun
3 years ago
14 comments:
That is such a beautiful post Elizabeth. My heart aches in solidarity with yours as you grieve the loss of four of Lena's genetic siblings. Your 'go get em attitude' is refreshing and inspiring and helps me to reframe losses that I have experienced in my life as chances to bounce back for the better... on your team always! xoxo Kristen
I am so sorry, Elizabeth... ((Hugs!))
I'm so sorry. Definitely not the outcome I was hoping and praying for. Praying for you as you grieve and move forward. (((hugs)))
I'm so sorry for your loss, Elizabeth! Thankful to see that you're at peace and ready to move forward.
Elizabeth,
I'm praying for your heart as you deal with these losses, and that our Lord will continue to make his mercies sweet to you.
I am so very, sorry. (((HUGS))) Prying for you.
Ugh! So sorry this was not the outcome we wanted. Praying for you as you deal with this loss.
I am new to your blog but wanted to say how sorry I am!! Wishing you the best going forward!!
Love and hugs and continued prayers to all of you from all of us!!! ♡♡♡
I'm very sorry for you loss. My continued prayers are with you and your family. You attitude is inspiring and I'm blessed to have you as a friend. :)
I love this raw post. And i'm going to save it. you give such encouragement.
I am so sorry for your loss! Praying that God continues to give you and your family comfort and peace. I am inspired and encouraged by your resolve to press on.
I was always praying, but just couldn't post. love you and praying for you as you mourn the loss of your little ones and at the same time look forward to October. (((hugs)))
I just realized that I didn't comment on this post yet! Having lost both of Keller's sibling embryos, I know the grief and pain associated with that. Praying for her last sibling to thrive and grow! Hugs and prayers to you both.
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