The Plan is Set - Do Genetics Matter?

Friday's appointment with Dr. K went great!  It was A LOT of driving in one day.  I spent 2/3 tank of gas and 5.5 hours on the road but my blood work and ultrasound went well - I have an 11 mm, triple stripe lining which the nurses were excited about.  After a really fun lunch date with my cousin who lives near Dr. K's office I came back to sit down with Dr. K to discuss our plan for the transfer.   I've been wondering what he was going to suggest considering he doesn't like to put in more than two embryos but last transfer he let us put in all three surviving embryos.  We have one left from Lena's set and two from our Snowflakes match. I knew that I for sure wanted to use Lena's sibling embryo first but I don't necessarily like the idea of using two genetic families in one transfer.  But I also don't like the idea of only transferring one embryo or having only one embryo left in frozen storage.   Dan's preference was to thaw all three embryos and transfer all surviving embryos.  After some thought I decided that was what I most felt comfortable with as well.  To my surprise Dr. K (without me having mentioned anything yet) suggested that very plan.  He said that he didn't want just one embryo left in storage and that I really needed to be pregnant.  I was so relieved that we agreed on the same FET plan so quickly.  I feel better knowing that there won't be any difficult decision on transfer day.  I did ask him about when we might do genetic testing if I do get pregnant since we are using embryos from more than one donor family.  His response took me a little by surprise, he said, "Does it matter?  A baby is a baby."  I told him of course I would be happy with any baby but that Snowflakes requires us to notify them if a child is born from our adopted embryos.  After thinking more on the matter I thought of a couple more reasons why I would want to know which genetic family our baby was from:

1. Emotionally it will be good for me to know asap if I am carrying Lena's genetic sibling or not since it has been my hope for this to happen.  If I am not carrying Lena's genetic sibling that will be a loss for me and I will need to mourn that loss.
2. For medical reasons (genetic history) it is important for us to know which family our baby comes from.
3. When the time is right I think Lena and the new baby have the right to know their genetic background if they want to.  

My concern  - and I already have some guilt over feeling this way - is that I don't feel as attached to our Snowflakes embryos as I do to the remaining embryo in Lena's match.  I don't think it is strange or prejudice for me to feel more attached to her set because I know so much more about Lena's genetic family and of course because I know and LOVE my precious Lena.  I have no doubt that if I do get pregnant with embryos from our Snowflakes set I will be ecstatic about it and will begin to bond with this new baby (babies) the same way I have bonded with Lena.  It surprised me a little that Dan feels totally different than I do about this.  He said that he honestly wouldn't even care to know if our baby (babies) are genetically related to Lena or not.  I was a little incredulous about that.

I am not sure how I feel about this transfer.  I am trying to remain balanced between being guarded and cautious and being hopeful and optimistic.  I have two conflicting truths battling in my head:

1. Our three remaining embryos are remaining because they are of the lowest quality of all our embryos and we started with 16 embryos from two donor families.  Statistically this transfer is a "long shot".  The odds are stacked against us that the embryos would survive the thaw let alone implant and grow.  The embryo from Lena's genetic match has already been thawed, grown out, and refrozen nearly three years ago and the embryos from our Snowflakes match are thought to have been frozen improperly since the other two from the same match were so badly damaged when they were thawed in our first FET over three years ago.  (They came from a lab in New York.)
2. Psalm 139 says, " For you created my inmost being... Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."  And 1 Corinthians 1 says, "Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world?...For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength...But God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong...so that no one may boast before him...Therefore, let the one who boasts boast in the Lord."  I don't know if our embryos will make it this FET but I do know I would be a fool to discount the will and power of a mighty God who likes to take the near impossible and make it possible for His glory.  

I start my progesterone shots tonight.  Let the FET fun begin!  Nurse T was kind enough to draw large sharpie circles on my backside for Dan so that we don't make the same mistakes as last transfer.  My transfer is scheduled for 12:45 pm PST on Friday, November 22 and then our first BETA will be on December 2nd.  We are traveling that day and will most likely postpone the BETA to December 3rd but as always I will do home pregnancy tests to keep my sanity / make myself crazy.  Only other infertile ladies can truly understand the juxtaposition of those two thoughts!