Self Study Questions

As part of our adoption homestudy we each must answer in complete sentences all of the questions listed below. That is 54 short answer / essay responses! Wow. . . I am taking the advice of my cousin who has been down this road- fill it out a few questions a day. I should be done by October! (As I fill out my questions I will bold them.)

Personality
1. Describe your personality; include what you view as your strengths and weaknesses.
2. Briefly explain the events and experiences in your life that you feel have shaped your personality.
3. What are your hobbies and interests? How do you spend your leisure time?
4. Describe a personal achievement that you are proud of.
5. List some personal goals for yourself and your family.
6. Have you struggled with any addictions, including drugs, alcohold, food or pronography? If so, when and how have you overcomeit?
7. What was the biggest disappointment or loss you have exeprienced in your life and how did you cope with it?
8. Have you ever received psychological counseling? If so, when, for how long and why?

Childhood and Family of Origin
1. Describe the family you grew up in.
a. Who was in the family, what were their relationships to each other?
b. What was your relationship with your parents like?
c. What were your feelings about other family members?
d. What were the positive and negative qualities of your family?
2. Describe the values, traditions, and expectations you feel your parents attempted to instill in you.
3. Describe your parent’s relationship to each other while you were growing up and currently.
4. What do you admire about your parent’s relationship and what might or have you done differently?
5. What kind of child were you? How did you spend your time? Who were your friends? What are your most pleasant childhood memories and unhappy memories?
6. What methods did your parents use to discipline you and your siblings?
7. Describe your family’s communication. How did they settle differences?
8. Do you have any history of physical, sexual, emotional abuse or neglect? If so, when and how have you moved past it?

Marriage
1. How did you meet your spouse? What attracted you to him/her?
2. How are you both alike? How do you differ?
3. What strengths do you bring to the marriage? What strengths does your partner bring to the marriage?
4. How has your relationship evolved over the years? What do you admire about him/her now?
5. What are his/her strong and weak points?
6. What areas would you like to grow in as a spouse? What are areas you would like to see your spouse grow in?
7. What are the common interests and activities you do as a family?
8. Describe what you feel keeps the relationship continuing.
9. If possible, what would you change about the relationship to your spouse?
10. Communication in a marriage means. . .? How does your spouse encourage communication? How does your spouse stifle it?
11. What are your main areas of disagreement?
12. How do you settle differences of opinion or disagreements with each other? Describe a problem in your marriage which has been overcome – how did you work it out?
13. How have you divided family responsibilities such as wage earning, household jobs, and childcare?
14. What are your priorities when you spend money? Do you have guidelines that you use when making purchases? Do you and your spouse agree on this?
15. What are your relationships with each other’s families?
a. Do they live within visiting distance?
b. When do you get together?
c. What is your relationship like with your father-in-law? Mother-in-law?
d. What are the similarities and differences between the two families of origin, and how have these families impacted your marriage?
16. Describe ways you have learned to balance personal freedom with responsiblies to your spouse and family.
17. What role does your physical relationship play in your marriage?
18. Have there been any incidence of infidelity in your dating, engaged or married relationship? If som please discuss how it impacted your relationship.
19. Please describe the circumstances of any previous marriage(s)/divorce(s).
a. List problem areas in the previous relationship and how you came to dissolve the marriage.
b. What did you learn from this experience? How do you feel this experience has affected your current marriage?
c. Were there any children as a result of this previous marriage? If so, what is your relationship to them now?
20. Do you have any children from any other previous relationships?

Children
1. If you have children already, please describe them (age, personality, interests, etc.).
2. How do you anticipate a child (or another child) will impact your life socially, maritally, vocationally, and personally? How will you adjust for and/oraddress these challenges?
3. What strength and experiences do you have as a person that you feel will help you parent?
4. What will your methods of discipline be with children? How would you set limits? How would you arrive at this? What do you feel are the important characteristics of good discipline?
5. What qualities, values, and character would you like to develop in your children and how would you go about promoting these? (Happy, well-adjusted children need. . . )
6. Will you arrange a leave from work? If not, what are your child care arrangements?
7. How will your parenting resemble/differ from that of your parents?
8. Who will you look to as a source of support and information to assist you in your parenting (ie: friend, parent support group, sibling, etc.)?

Adoption
1. When did you first start thinking about adoption and why?
2. Do you and your spouse feel the same about adopting? Who initiated the action?
3. How does your extended family and friends feel about your adopting?
4. What are your expectations for the adoption process?
5. What concerns do you have regarding the adoption process?
6. How would you feel abou an adoptive child’s desire to gain information about his/her birthparent(s)?
7. Do you have any concerns about bonding to the child or the child bonding to you?
8. What do you plan to communicate to your child about your reason for wanting to adopt him or her? How would you help you child understand adoption?
9. Please explain your view of a birthparent and why and/or how birthparents release a child for adoption.
10. If you have children, how are you presenting the adoption to them? What are their feelings regarding the adoption?

Is there any other significant information or events that has not been shared in the previous questions that you feel would be pertinent for us to know?