2009 - A Year of Change and Challenge

2009 was year of change and challenge for Dan and I. Our top three major events amongst many other happenings were:

1. Dan changing his job moving from the South LA office to the Rancho Cucamonga office
2. The passing of Dan's dad - Alvin Shackleton
3. Our decision to begin the adoption process

We are looking forward to 2010 with hope and anticipation. The Lord has been faithful in bringing Dan and I through great difficulty. He has given us strength to persevere and we have great faith that He will continue to provide for us no matter what 2010 holds. Happy New Year to you all!


p.s. We made our first contact with our FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) doctor today and will have our first consultation and examination on January 11th. Yea!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Christmas Eve with the Shackletons & Orrs

Today Dan was supposed to work a 12.5 hour shift but his boss is going to let him off early! So tonight this is where we will be:

Playing flute at the church Christmas Eve service. Then. . .


Hanging out with four of my five cute nephews!

Happy Christmas Eve Everyone!

A Day in L.A.!

I am always encouraging my very studious AP students to get out of their normal routine and try something new that they haven't done before. We recently finished studying a post-modern novella by Banana Yoshimoto called Kitchen. In this novella, which was originally written in Japanese, the main character Mikage relates love and family relationships to food. She does not eat food, she SAVORS food. Yesterday my AP Lit. students and I decided to take a trip to L.A. and savor the local flavors. We decided to take the metro rather than drive in our cars so that we could take in more of the culture and see the L.A. natives close up. It was SUCH a fun day!

We started in Norwalk on the metro green line and transferred lines until we arrived at the historic Grand Central Station in downtown L.A. We walked across the street to Olvera street where the oldest house in L.A. is located along with great Mexican shops and treats. Dan and I shared a churro, taquitos, and chile relleno. Yum! Many of the students walked across the street to have lunch at the historic luncheon counter, Philippe's, where they feasted on french dip sandwiches. After Olvera street we took a 15 minute walk to Little Tokyo to endulge in our favorite Japanese treats. We had mochi ice cream, katsudan, and Japanese bakery items. After a quick stop at the Buhddist Temple and the original Los Angeles Times building we headed over to the historic Grand Central Market across the street from the famous Bradbury building. There we sampled Mexican pastries, pupusas from El Salvador, and ceviche. We then headed back to Norwalk on the metro after a full day and VERY full stomachs! Today I enjoyed being a teacher! Much thanks to Dan for coming along to keep me company and be the camera man!

A True Hero

"I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure."



Eric Liddell(Olympic Gold Medalist in Track and Field as portrayed in Chariots of Fire:

You came to see a race today. To see someone win. It happened to be me. But I want you to do more than just watch a race. I want you to take part in it. I want to compare faith to running in a race. It's hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul. You experience elation when the winner breaks the tape - especially if you've got a bet on it. But how long does that last? You go home. Maybe you're dinner's burnt. Maybe you haven't got a job. So who am I to say, "Believe, have faith," in the face of life's realities? I would like to give you something more permanent, but I can only point the way. I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, "Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me." If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race.

Do you long to feel "God's pleasure" in your life? To know that He made you for a purpose and you are living your life in accordance to that purpose?

Learn more about Eric's life here.

P.S. Since most all marathons take place on SundayI always thought someone should start a marathon (or even a 5k) on a Saturday in honor of Eric Liddell.

Another BIG Bend in the Road

This week brought another change in our adoption journey. In our quest to find a lawyer who knows embryo donation/adoption we discovered that this is a very specialized field. We finally were referred to a woman whom a lawyer said could help us. She is a lawyer who helped lay the legal groundwork for the Snowflakes program with Nightlight Christian Adoptions. The Snowflakes program had been our first choice for our embryo adoption but their costs were much higher than the NEDC and Miracles Waiting.

To make a loooong story short after several phone conversations we were advised to be very careful about pursuing a match through Miracles Waiting (although I know a few couples that have been very happily matched!)and we have learned that our legal expenses would be fairly significant with the MW option. We also learned that Snowflakes (whose office is a mere 20 min. drive from our house) has a matching option that we were not privy to before that lowers the cost of our embryo adoption through them by $3600 and we would be first on the list to be matched. They have approx. 70 donors waiting at this time.

On some level I feel ridiculous that we have changed our mind so many times in the last two weeks but I am excited that Dan and I have decided to go with Snowflakes. We have realized through our experiences with NEDC, MW, and Embryos Alive that they are the best match for us in our adoption journey. Since this is our first adoption I am glad we will have the help of an agency in communicating with the genetic family, coordinating the transfer of the embryos from the donor clinic to our clinic, and the expertise of their experienced legal staff. I like that we won't have to travel to TN- although I would LOVE to visit Nashville someday!

This week Dan and I worked on filling out our Snowflakes application, recipient agreement, and fertility clinic paperwork. Today I dropped off tons of paperwork that Snowflakes needed to open our file. We will be making a formal adoption profile that will be shown to potential donor couples to help them decided if they would like to give us their embryos. It is a much more extensive profile than the NEDC required, more like a domestic adoption family profile. At the Snowflakes office the program coordinator said that our application would be processed next week and that as soon as they get our profile (which I plan on having done before Christmas) we will start the matching process. She feels that since their donor pool is so large right now and they don't have a long recipient line we will be matched fairly quick. Once we are matched it will take a month or two to get all the paperwork in order and the embryos shipped to our clinic in L.A. Our transfer will very likely happen in early Spring!

I totally get why they call adoption a "journey"!

Thank you for praying for us. I sense God's hand in all of this turmoil. I know our story will be an amazing one and I can't wait to see how His will unfolds in our lives. . . through joy and sorrow, pain and pleasure. . . I know He is there.

BAAAAAD DOG!

A year ago my dog loving neighbors and friends found a homeless dog. We all tried to find the owner. She was so sweet and friendly. Dan wanted this dog and the friends wanted us to have this dog. I know from experience how much exercise and work a dog can be. I said no. Dan said please. I caved and we have a dog.

I like the dog. It likes me. We go on runs together. . . it sleeps on its own bed in our room. . and sometimes it sleeps IN OUR bed becuase Dan loves his dog and I'm a softy. . . I buy it bones and toys and treats and soft pillowy dog beds. . . I feed it quality lamb and rice dry food at 5:30am every morning before work. . . I pet it and talk to it in a soft loving voice. . .and we teach it discipline: to walk without pulling, sit when told, don't lick, don't bark, don't steal my socks, etc.

I have learned to live with the dog.
She is mostly a good dog.
But then I woke up this morning to this:







BAD DOG!!!

(Great emotional restraint was practiced in the writing of this blog post.)

New Phase in our Adoption Journey

After a week of deep discussion, prayer,and research Dan and I have decided to actively begin searching for embryos to adopt. We are still "in line" with the NEDC but have decided to also place a recipient profile with Miracles Waiting and keep watch on the available embryos on Embryos Alive.

With Embryos Alive we would do the transfer in CA and the cost is close to the NEDC (given that we would have to pay nearly $1,000 for traveling expenses each time we fly to TN) but we will have a much smaller pool of donor families to choose from.

With Miracles Waiting we would have to do more administrative work: find a lawyer to draw up the transfer contracts, coordinate with our fertility clinic and the donor's fertility clinic, and comminicate more openly with the donor family without the help of an agency.

If we find a good match through Miracles Waiting or Embryos Alive before the NEDC schedules our mock transfer appointment then we will go with them instead. It is nice to have options and exciting to think that there is a possibility that our transfer will take place in early spring rather than late summer. So thankful for the support of our families and friends and the advice of our fellow embryo adoption friends. We shall see where we go from here!
++++++++++UPDATE 12/7/09+++++++++++++
We found a great lawyer with experience in embryo adoption but he won't help us because he only does contracts through Snowflakes. Boo! So we are still looking. We did find a local fertility clinic that has come highly recommended by our EA friends! Yea!

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!"

One tradition that Dan and I have is that we purchase an ornament every time we go on a trip together. The tradition began in Maui on our honeymoon in 2003 with these fun ornaments!


I love the hang ten board shorts on the starfish santa. You will have to come visit our tree to see some of our other ornament treasures!

I bought this fun Christmas paisley table cloth the other day. I love that it is Christmasy without being cheesy.

My favorite new Christmas item is something that I have been wanting for awhile: it is an advent calendar. The one above is an advent Christmas village that I got at Costco for $10!!! I can't wait to hide Christmas bible verses and treats for our kids when we have some and they are old enough.

The outside of the house is still a work in progress. Dan and Sam are putting up lighted garland on our wrap-around porch while listening to football through the piano room windows.

I always love a cozy fireplace and the addition of our simple Christmas stockings makes ours extra cozy. Dan and I have another tradition: we usually don't give each other expensive presents we set a limit ($20 or so) and our challenge is to fill each other's stocking with fun items and treats.


My top four favorite Christmas albums this year are Christmas Together with Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, Charlie Brown Christmas, Diana Krall Christmas, and my newest album So Much Joy by the musicians of Grace EV Free La Mirada. What are your favorites? (There are soooo many great albums out there and only a month to listen!!!)

I hope this post finds you all taking time to not only enjoy the fun traditions of the Christmas season but also time to think about the amazing gift of grace and mercy in the birth of Jesus Christ who laid down his life for all people in all times.

Come thou long-expected Jesus,
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel's strength and consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

Born Thy people to deliver,
Born a Child and yet a King.
Born to reign in us for ever,
Now Thy gracious kingdom bring.
By Thine own eternal Spirit
Rule in all our hearts alone;
By Thine all-sufficient merit
Raise us to Thy glorious throne.
- Charles Wesley

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend! Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

- Placide Cappeau de Roquemaure in 1847

REVISED. . .slow progress. . .

I got an email from Bethany's Knoxville office on Monday. Apparently, I have been waiting these last 20 days for a process that I didn't know needed to take place. The California Bethany office had to contact the Knoxville office, send them our home study, and then Knoxville had to approve it and notify the NEDC. She instructed me to call the NEDC today to schedule our first visit to Tennessee! So hopefully in the next few days we will have our mock transfer scheduled. This visit is also so that I can meet our doctor, be medically approved for the procedure, and learn about the procedure and all the fun medicines and shots that come with it! I am so thankful to get permission to move to the next step in our adoption!

-----Later in the day--------

Okay. . . I called the NEDC today and the good news is that our file is as complete as a file can be. The not so good news is that we are now on a waiting list. They are booked through March and there are 24 people ahead of us waiting to get an appointment as soon as more open up. The NEDC said that the wait is now 10-12 months at the fastest from application to transfer. This would put our transfer sometime this summer, likely August. Most likely we wouldn't even make our first trip out to TN until very late spring or early summer. I have two thoughts about this:

1. How awesome is it that there is a waiting list to adopt!!!??? I am glad that so many people are taking steps to adopt these embryos.

2. We don't want to wait this long. I am second guessing our decision to go with the NEDC. Maybe flying all the way to Tenessee (twice) to do this is not the best idea. I feel frustrated and I am considering looking into other options. Or maybe we should just press on and wait our turn. . .

We are bummed.