"Not Yet"

. . .was not the answer Dan and I were praying we would get after waiting seven years to become parents but this is indeed the news we received today.  My blood test confirmed what I had known these past few days;  we lost both of our babies.  Adoption and infertility are both journeys and this is one of the painful and sad moments in our journey.  But it is not just about Dan and I.  Yes, today we once again lost out on the opportunity to be parents but our babies lost out on a chance to experience life.  I miss them and I didn't even know them.  They and baby Shack that we lost at six weeks in 2008 are the only children we have ever known.  Dan and I revere life at its most basic form (a small cluster of human cells) which is why we felt so drawn to embryo adoption.  I mourn them and I mourn the loss of the opportunity to mother them and provide them a loving home.

Tomorrow we will meet with our FET Dr. and decide what to do next.  We still have two more adopted embies in cryogenic storage waiting for a chance at life and we are committed to give them that opportunity.  I am not sure when that will happen just yet.

Thank you for praying for our embies and for us.  Dan and I have chosen to share our story for many reasons and one of those reasons is so that when we go through really tough days like today we have a community to come around us and build us back up with encouragement, kindness, and prayer.  Thank you friends.

One last look at our precious baby Shacks.  I am glad we have this picture to remember them by.