Well we were SUPPOSED to find out the gender of Baby Shack today. Key word here. . ."supposed". Dan and I walked in for our appointment to a room with no ultrasound machine. I just confidently told Dan, "It is probably one of those portable ones." Well then the doctor came in with a pocket fetal doppler. Yes. . . the same gadget that I paid a mere $45 for last week. When we asked why we weren't doing an ultrasound he launched into an explanation as to how I am not far along enough, how if we did an ultrasound today we couldn't see much and that I needed to be atleast 17 weeks along, to which he asked, "How far along are you?" People, how come OBs ask their patients how far along we are? Don't they know this stuff? When I first came in last month they asked me for my due date. I just told them, "I thought that is what you are supposed to tell me!?" I got our due date off the internet calculator and that is the due date they used for me. Anyways, after the LONG explanation as to how it is too early to tell the gender he looked at us with pity and said, "You guys are just spoiled from going to the infertility doctor's office where they do an ultrasound every appointment." I totally get what he meant but I didn't take it kindly. Dan I changed lots through our infertility experience, but "SPOILED" is not one of the qualities we picked up along the way. Honestly, I felt like saying this: "Dr. B. .. we are rookies here. I don't know what is supposed to happen every week of my pregnancy or at every appointment unless you tell me and at our last appointment in May YOU told us that at our June appointment we would be doing an ultrasound for an anatomy check and gender identification. I only "EXPECTED" an ultrasound today because YOU told us we were going to have one!" In reality I just sat there and looked at him while fuming deep inside. He then got the doppler out and told me this could take a minute. I told him exactly where the baby was (I had just used our fetal doppler the night before) and just like that we heard Baby Shack's heartbeat. And then that was it. I can't believe we drove that far for something we could have done at home. Silly. BTW why are they so stingy on ultrasounds? Is it expensive to turn the machine on? Is it dangerous to the baby? It is not like an ultrasound takes that long to do. As Dan and I walked out of the doctor's office I whispered under my breath, "I miss Dr. K". I am sure Dr. B is a great doctor. Everyone has told me so. Maybe I am spoiled. Dr. K and his staff never made me feel stupid. . . ever.
So after our appointment today we set up our ultrasound appointment for the anatomy scan on June 21st at 9am PST. That is the day of our 8th wedding anniversary so hopefully we will have a good appointment and then celebrate with a fun day together. So you will all have to wait 15 more days with us before we know how Baby Shack's body is doing and if Baby Shack is a boy or girl. At least this kind of waiting is a happy kind of waiting. =)
Birthday Fun
4 years ago
9 comments:
Aw, bummer. Sorry you have to wait longer, but every time I hear about the heartbeat I rejoice. We love you guys and are praying for baby Shack.
Elizabeth, you are not spoiled at all. That was completely out of line for him to say that. I would have Dan explain now or at the very latest your next appt exactly where you were on this past appt. The Dr told YOU that you would be having the anatomy scan. THis is a joyous time for you. THere is no reason that doctor should be throwing around unnecessary guilt your way. You are shy of 16 weeks, yes, but it is still quite possible to see anatomy. At the same time, you will feel most confident in waiting a week to see the anatomy and you will be able to "be sure" since the baby is further developed. Still, I am concerned about a doctor who would be uninformed of your case upon entering the exam room and also him saying the things he did. I am looking forward to you u/s with you!!
Elizabeth, sorry to hear of your frustration. Honestly, with your first pregnancy, any OB should explain what is happening, when your due date is, what you should expect, etc. For high risk pregnancies (which I think yours is) they should do at least 3-4 ultrasounds during your pregnancy. Especially if he told you he would. So happy for you and can't wait to see this new little one!!
Cara
Oh, man! I don't think doctors have any idea how much we need to SEE that everything is okay! I'm always annoyed when they ask me something that they should know. Is it too much to ask to spend a minute reading the chart before they come in?
I had to wait until 20 weeks for the anatomy scan with both my pregnancies. The ultrasound tech I got with Genevieve got a bit snippy with us when we said that we did want to know the gender - she told us that isn't the purpose of this scan - it's to make sure that the baby is healthy. Ha! As if I had no idea that a baby might not be healthy - even though it had been nearly 3 years since we had lost Makenzie, it's never far from my mind.
I'm glad your doctor isn't making you wait until 20 weeks!
Wow. Just wow.
I do think OBs typically only do one or two ultrasounds PER PREGNANCY(can you imagine?!) for insurance reasons mostly. I know our insurance only pays for one unless more are medically necessary. (I think I had five, and that was only through 12 weeks. I guess there are benefits to being high risk!) So I think OBs are often stingy with the ultrasounds for that reason. However, I would think they would give you more since you are at a somewhat higher risk.
But to tell you you'd get one and then call you spoiled when you expected it? That's just wrong. No one should ever call an infertility patient spoiled!
Bummer!!!!! I cannot wait till your next appointment. And as far as I am concerned that was RUDE what the doctor said! I know PLENTY of people who are EXCITED to see there baby, to know if it is a boy or girl and when they are told that at a set day they will and it doesn't happen it is disappoointing. I am so sorry that, that happened to you all. Thinking about you!
I was curious- I thought you had to be at least 18 weeks to confidently tell the gender. But yeah, how rude of that doctor! Hopefully he'll treat you better next time!
We had very few ultrasounds during our pregnancy, and I was disappointed by that and wondered the same thing you're wondering-- why? I did some googling and found some information that said too many ultrasounds can potentially harm the baby, but I don't even remember where I read it or if the information was accurate. That's what I get for googling. =) Your doctor was pretty insensitive, though-- I would have been really irritated and maybe even offended, too! I hope the next appointment is so awesome!
--Melinda
I am so sorry you had such a bad experience - I totally agree with you (and the title of this post!). We didn't have our gender scan until 20 weeks, so I was a little surprised you were getting one so early...at least you don't have to wait that long :) Glad to hear that you at least got to hear the heartbeat - praying for more great news in the weeks to come!
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